Mother people have it much worse!

[Whatutalkinboutwillis]

So I have been told now when I think I have reached my breaking point.

For 9 years I have juggled 2 parents with serious health conditions which I have watched get worse and worse to the point now death would be a release for both of them.

I have a newly adopted child and a son just diagnosed with dispraxia and spd who can't make or keep friends and watching this is breaking my heart.

My mother had a transplant last year which now looks to be failing, for the first time time admitted I can't look after my dad anymore who has dimentia and Parkinson's and had to admit him to a care home. The guilt i feel is unreal. I rely on sleeping pills to sleep and feel like I could vomit every day. I am running between hospital and care home visits and looking after 2 kids whilst running a business and working my own job. I feel like I am about to break and am utterly exhausted. My husband said we have to just keep going and lots of people have much worse going on but right now I can't see past each Groundhog Day.

It's the relentlessness of it all,
Just when one thing gets better another thing happens. I really can't take much more my head feels like a pressure cooker about to explode. On the outside I smile and get on with it but on the inside I'm just about at breaking point. Don't even know why I'm writing this I just needed to verbalise how I'm feeling. Like I'm letting everyone down in every part of my life, I'm being spread too thin and can't deal with the expectations everyone has. That's it really. Just not coping

Title is meant to be "other people"

I don't think anybody could cope with the load you're carrying and being told that other people have it worse is really not helpful. Is your husband at least supportive, emotionally and practically?

Stop feeling guilty about your dad. I don't have any personal experience and cannot imagine how deeply painful it must be to see someone you love in that state. What I do know is that there is no rule that says a good child is one who personally cares for her parents to the end of their lives. The care home is probably better equipped than you are to meet your dad's needs anyway. You haven't abandoned him, you've made sure that he is cared for. That is all anybody could expect from you.

Are there friends or family who could visit your parents / pick your kids up from school and drive them somewhere / cook a meal for you / babysit so that you and your husband can take a break one evening? Often people want to help but they don't know how. Now would be a very good time to ask for the specific help that you need.

Can you reduce your hours at work or the time you spend on running the business? Can you hire someone to do some of the work?

You know how when they do the safety briefing in airoplanes they always say you must put the oxygen mask on yourself first and then assist children and other passengers? That applies in your situation. You have to take care of yourself, otherwise you are going to fall apart and not be in any fit state to take care of all these other people. Taking time out does not mean you are failing as a daughter or a parent. It means you are being responsible, mindful of all the responsibilities you have and what you need to do to keep yourself going.