I just don't know where to turn - loss of both parents

[blackrabbitsummer]

Hi,

I'm genuinely not completely sure what I'm seeking through posting here.

Recently I turned 33. My mother had died in my final year at school. My dad will have been dead five months come October.

I still feel just totally numb. I feel like I go through the motions of some stuff - mainly work - but there's no heart there. I find mornings and motivation particularly difficult, just can't get out of bed properly half the time. Recently I started seeing a counsellor but I'm not sure how helpful it is.

I haven't cried, at all hardly. Yet I've got this deep sadness that I know is there but I can't access yet. Sometimes I can be feeling quite happy and positive, other times I just feel so, so sad and cheated mainly. I'm not married and don't have children - my parents will never know their grandchildren, dad will never walk me down the aisle. It just breaks my heart.

I have no one to talk to.

Can anybody help?

I am so sorry . I don't know if I have any advice but hope someone will. The bereavement boards here may be able to support you too.

The loss of your father is still so recent, so raw, and I am sure it is bound up with feelings over the loss of your mother. I am not surprised you feel this way at the moment. If you want to talk on here, we are listening.

Oh god OP, I am so so sorry. I don't know what to say but I didn't want to just read and not say anything.

The counselling may help you a lot without it being obvious in the moment. It might only become obvious that it's helped a year down the line. I think it would be a really good idea to keep going with it- it is someone IRL to talk to after all.

I'm not sure I know enough about the links between grief and MH problems to be commenting, but have you thought that perhaps you are depressed, and that you might benefit from some help from your GP?

It's a horrible situation, please be kind to yourself.