I hate being alive.

[Spaceboundeminem]

I have bipolar 1 I was manic last month now it looks like I am pg and I don't know who the father is.

I have one father threatening suicide if I dont terminate.
Dh who is going to get physically violent when I tell him.

Dh has spent all day picking on my weight (I am a size 14) saying I'll be dead before I'm 30. Trying to force me to exercise. Taking drinks of coke away from me. He has also used the words disgustingly obese.

I hate dh but I can't leave because I'm I'll and he has threatened to take the dc if I do. He will win as ss are involved because of how I'll i am.

I hate being alive I just want to slash my wrists. I am sat hiding in the bedroom crying.

I hear voices in my head telling me to end my life.

You need to contact your MH team or attend A&E and speak to the liasion team.

Can you ring the Samaritans if you need to talk to someone?
If you are feeling so ill, maybe your meds aren't working and you need to get them sorted out.
Don't do anything you can't undo, your dc need you, love you and for their sake keep on trying. Take it one moment at a time. You are a person who has a right to a happy life, so try and see your dr or mh team ASAP and get things back on track.
Don't hurt yourself, there is only one of you, there is a reason why you are here, and remember, you are irreplaceable to your children, who need you. X

Maybe try ringing a domestic violence helpline like 0808 2000 247. They may be able to advise on shelter and keeping DC. Please don't be alone. Phone someone.

You have posted under a different username haven't you, op? I recognise your story and think I recognise how you ended up expecting.
First things first is to go straight to a n e right now and get the duty doctor to talk to you immediately.
Then deal with the rest later.
I am not giving you any other advice except put your shoes on, get to a n e and get help. I mean this very kindly. Do it now.
Then post here and we will help you through the rest.
X

Yes I have posted under a different name. I don't want to go and spend hours up A and E but I will phone samaritans and see my gp in the morning.

Good, I'm glad you are getting some help. Have been following your story.
Do you know how many weeks pg you are? You could contact a pregnancy advice charity for some help, too.

I would be 4-5 termination is not a option as I had a very traumatic one at 15. So at least that is decided.

Oh, I didn't mean for termination; I just meant for general advice/ to process things. Yes, I recognise your story now. Are you still having a mixed episode, or have things calmed a little?

I think my mixed episode has changed into a depressive episode now. I knew what you meant

Update got a emergency appointment with psychiatrist tomorrow. I have been referred to epu for pg.

That's good you are taking positive steps to dealing with things.