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Original poster

Feeling very alone about my anxiety, anyone else?

39 replies

Illustrated · 20/09/2014 21:10

What the title says really. I've had anxiety for a very long time. It always used to be pretty manageable and only certain situations would trigger it but for the past 6 months its got out of hand to the point that I've locked myself away in my house as every time I go out I feel HORRIBLE!

To tell you I have cabin fever would be an understatement and as a lone parent in a new area I dont get to see many people anymore and I dont know anyone that suffers with anxiety to such an extent that it rules their life.

Would be nice to talk to some people here that are suffering (or know someone that is).

OP posts:
Raftofdeterminationandlove · 20/09/2014 21:31

Hi.

I have recently been diagnosed with anxiety and am still coming to terms with it. I also have depression and stress.

It isn't exactly ruling my life now but it makes things difficult. You aren't the only one who is going through this but I know how lonely it can feel. Other people have their lives ruled by it too. It's horrible.

Not feeling very useful at the moment but here to hold your hand if nothing else Thanks

Original poster
Illustrated · 20/09/2014 22:09

Thanks for replying. Sorry to hear your going through it too. Have you found anything that helps even a little yet? Are there things that you try to avoid?
I'm starting CBT for the second time next week (first time was 8 years ago and it was very effective, although it wasn't this bad)

Im supposed to go back to my home town for a birthday tomorrow and I dont know if I can. Ive not been much further than about 5 minutes from my house in 6 months.

OP posts:
Raftofdeterminationandlove · 20/09/2014 22:29

Oh dear no wonder you feel lonely. I do sometimes get scared to go out but if I make the effort and push through it I'm fine. I think you're worse than me though.

I don't really avoid anything but I find that rescue remedy helps. I also find eating small amounts often seems to keep me calm. I have also started working out again. I don't have the energy to do much but I feel good afterwards.

I am starting CBT soon too. I have had it before and liked it.

Does the person who's birthday it is know that you're nervous?

MrsMinton · 20/09/2014 22:32

Hello Raft and Illustrated. I've been recently diagnosed with anxiety and depression although I've known for a long time I was ill, I was too scared to get help.
I'm taking AD's and having CBT start soon. It's horrid when you have a social situation that you should be going to, but can't face.

Raftofdeterminationandlove · 20/09/2014 22:42

Hi MrsMinton I am ADs too. I had a breakdown recently so had to get help. It was taken out of my hands. I am still reeling from it now but am doing a lot better.

I'm not too bad with social situations but am good at putting on a brave face. People think I cope better than I do.

MrsMinton · 20/09/2014 22:57

People think I cope. They'd be so surprised in Rl if they knew. It's hard when there is that perception of you.

I'm glad you are doing better :)

Raftofdeterminationandlove · 20/09/2014 23:33

Thank you Smile

Fortunately my friends and family are pretty understanding.

TongueBiter · 20/09/2014 23:46

I'm struggling with even walking round town - I feel so self conscious, and consequently anxious that I'm going to trip over or something, or that I've got a weird expression on my face etc .... It's fucking exhausting trying to constantly counter these thoughts.

Original poster
Illustrated · 21/09/2014 10:14

Hello MrsMinton and Tonguebiter

Did you have to try out a few AD's before finding the right one? I've tried quite a few and they all gave me bad side effects. I've been given beta blockers to use when facing a challenging situation but I don't feel like they do anything. Not many people know about my anxiety, I'm partly scared what they will think about me not being able to leave the house, some of the well meaning advice I've got from some of those that know has played it down slightly, like I have a choice and just need to snap out of it.

TongueBiter Thats how I feel too, which in turn makes me more nervous and overwhelmed. When I do get out I have to stick to quiet areas. My anxiety makes me feel very sick so I'm scared of embarrassing myself in front of people. Have you found anything that makes you feel even the slightest bit at ease? I find listening to music calms me a bit and going for walks when its just got dark so I can sort of 'practice' some routes I find difficult when its busy in the day.

OP posts:
MrsMinton · 21/09/2014 11:45

I was scared to go out, scared to drive. I spent most of the summer holidays in the house with the children because I only felt safe that way. My H works away and I was trapped unless he was home. I am lucky that Citalopram has helped straight away. I have been able to get out in the car, admittedly I've had to plan it still but at least I can go and shop etc. I can also stop the panic more easily when it's starting. It's like my head is quieter and I can think!!

MrsMinton · 21/09/2014 11:46

I started on the lowest dose for two weeks and then moved up and have been very lucky with side effects being minimal.

TongueBiter · 21/09/2014 12:50

I was on citalopram, after fluoxetine, and now sertraline 100mg although I feel a little higher would be beneficial. I wouldn't say im 100% stable on it but there are other stress factors that affect me which I can't expect a tablet to sort. A counsellor I saw last year was helpful and I can draw on our conversations to help combat anxiety attacks mostly. I just have to silence the "everyone's watching you" voices, and the overthinking of everything. I try and start up conversations with shop till staff etc which kinda normalises me iyswim.

Original poster
Illustrated · 21/09/2014 13:46

Thats great you've made so much progress MrsMinton. Citalopram made me have awful headaches and nausea. I've never had any luck with medication, I'm really putting all my hope on the therapy. Are you due to see someone else for your anxiety TongueBiter?

I've just taken my propranolol, I'm due to leave in 20 minutes, thankfully I dont have much pressure from the birthday person, they know I may not be able to do it. Long car journeys are hell for me as I feel very trapped, I couldn't make it to my own daughters first trip to the zoo because I panicked so much on the way there, thankfully she still went but I felt such a failure. Hope I can make this journey, wish me luck! This will be the furthest away I've been from my house in 6 months.

OP posts:
Raftofdeterminationandlove · 21/09/2014 13:52

Good luck Illustrated Thanks

MrsMinton · 21/09/2014 14:53

Good luck. I hope you can enjoy some of the day Thanks

Raftofdeterminationandlove · 21/09/2014 18:58

Hi.

How did you get on Illustrated?

Citalopram was ok for me but I put on a ton of weight on it. I am on fluoxotine now which seems to suit me better.

I have been feeling bad because you all seem to be worse than me. I don't know what I've got to complain about. I think I'm affected differently though.

MrsMinton · 21/09/2014 20:23

Oi Raft dont think like that Smile
You haven't complained. You've shared. Everyones experience of anxiety is different. I can go to meetings and do presentations to parents. But ask me to drive or watching my DS do swings on a rope and I'm in a terrible place. I get scared of people I love being hurt or dying and I avoid social situations because I get overwhelmed and feel insignificant. Don't ever think your feelings aren't valid. (Hope I'm not sounding bossy or horrid!)

MrsMinton · 21/09/2014 20:26

How long did it take for counselling to start helping Tongue, if you don't mind me asking. I'm doing some online and waiting for my counsellor to be assigned.

Raftofdeterminationandlove · 21/09/2014 20:26

I know. It's this stupid voice in my head telling me my feelings don't matter. I am trying to overcome it Smile

MrsMinton · 21/09/2014 20:29

That voice is a pain isn't it! You and your feelings are important and I'll always listen. Smile Funny how you can tell it to others but it's so hard to apply it to yourself isn't it!

Raftofdeterminationandlove · 21/09/2014 20:47

It's only got bad very recently. Been a bit of a shock Sad

MrsMinton · 21/09/2014 20:56

It must have been quite frightening, especially as it was a breakdown and taken out of your hands. It's great that your friends and family are supportive. Even though it's probably hard to tell them sometimes or lean on them.

I don't like asking for help. Im my own worst enemy sometimes.

I got ill over a long time. Twelve years. I'm sad I wasted all that time but being a gradual slide I just lost sight of what was a normal feeling. I can see now though and with support can get back to whatever passes for normal, I'm sure.

Original poster
Illustrated · 21/09/2014 20:59

Thankyou :-) I did it! Very surprised. Next challenge is going out to a salon tomorrow for the actual birthday. Was pretty anxious but I feel a bit like I've made progress today.

Don't feel that way Raft none of us feel like you shouldn't be here. Anxiety is different for everyone.

MrsMinton How long have you been doing the online therapy? I've been doing the same on living life to the full and have found it hit and miss. There's a relaxation recording im supposed to listen to twice a day as part of it and I don't really feel like its doing anything for me. I know people mention mindfulness is helpful, anyone try that?

OP posts:
MrsMinton · 21/09/2014 21:10

Yay!!! Illustrated so pleased for you Smile

I've been doing it two weeks. I'm using things from

www.getselfhelp.co.uk

I Like the STOPP technique. I have tried mindfulness but my brain was too cluttered and anxious. I'm hoping as I get calmer I can start that.

You can sign up to free anxiety online counselling on prescription which is how I'm getting help, but because my depression scores are high too I'm not starting fear fighter yet.

MrsMinton · 21/09/2014 21:12

The sight has music and a mediation that I'm going to try this week.