I'm not expecting anyone here really to care but I dont at least "tell" someone how I feel I think I might actually try to hurt myself.
I feel trapped & alone even though im in a house with 3 children, a DH, and pets. I cant stop crying, when I do i cant cope with the kids. my eldest DS has adhd & he is so much hard work. I love him but he makes life so difficult that I cant bare to be around him. I know this makes me the worst mother ever. on the flip side to this I spend hours crying because I can't do enough to help him or fix him. hes lovely without friends or understanding from others & im so mad with the world that he so misunderstood. he hates me, he speaks to me like in the scum of the earth, nothing I ever do is right or ever good enough. I dont feel loved by DH hes at work everyday & when he gets home I dont feel enough support. he tries to get DS to understand how he's behaved but DS just gets up set & angry, then I get defensive of DS. I hsve no friends & cant see how I could ever make any when I have nothing to offer. I try to be a good mum & good wife but no matter what I do I still feel unhappy & just wish I was dead.