I've just checked the life insurance for their suicide policies

[Inthecellar]

I've been thinking about it for some time and now I know dh would be financially secure.
Everything's fucked up, we're in so much debt. We've been living off overdrafts, credit cards and transferring pennies from one account to another to make ends meet. I'm working 30 hours overtime most weeks in a job I hate and I am knackered. We have three loans that end next June which will make things better but the amount of debt between now and then is mounting.
I'm sick of working so hard and having to worry about money.
I feel like a shit shouty mum and my dc's will be better off with dh and having a secure future.
The only thing that's stopping me is how my death could shape their future and I would hate them to be sad.
I don't know what to do

Please don't even consider this as any kind of option. The heartbreak for your family will last for the rest of their lives. I know things must be nearly impossible for you just now but just keep soldiering on hour by hour.

I have been offered talk therapy but the irony is I have worked in mental health for 10 years until six months ago so I know exactly how it will go.
It is a big gp practice, one gp was supportive and offered the above and meds but seemed at a loss when they didn't work. One suggested some exercise. One suggested its because I have young dc's and it will be a tough few years mentally then I knew they were talking shite and gave up on them. I think they get pissed off that I probably know more about psych meds then they do

Please don't consider taking your life over money. I have direct experience of this within my family and the legacy is felt through several generations. My Grandmother always said 'never worry about anything time or money can fix' and I'm a firm believer in this philosophy.
Seven years ago we were in £40000 worth of debt now we owe less than £6000. Step Change were an amazing help to us and I would second you contacting them.
Your life is worth so much more.
Hugs for you

The right counsellor could turn your life around. I really believe that. Could you try the talk therapy? And call the debt people?

Anything has to be better than this.

Hello, how are you doing today?

I hope you are ok. I believe Rootypig is right - it took me a few different counsellors & trying different meds until things started to get better, but the 'good' counsellor was amazing. If it wasn't for her I don't know if I'd be here today, but I am & although there are no quick fixes it was worth enduring. I really hope you find this too. Keep on keeping on.

Yes, please try and see a different GP, get some CBT and see if that can give you some coping mechanisms. Sometimes talking therapies are better than drugs, I know it's hard but you should really push for some extra help as you're feeling so low.

Suicide is not the answer, your family need and want you.

We are in a similar position in regards to money as are many right now. You are not alone.

Practical steps

Contact one of the debt agencies like stepchange

Do you have a mortgage, interest free, re-mortgage, payment holiday?

Samaritans

Visit to gp

Good luck