I can't come to terms with my difficult past.

[superstarheartbreaker]

I'm having emdr for my abusive past but I still lie awake at night mourning for the woman I could have/ should have been.

I find it very hard to comprehend that I stuck with my abusive ex for so long. He really ground me into the dust and I feel weak for letting him.

I'm trying to live in the present but that's so hard when the weight of the past drags you down.

People say " seize the day" but that's so hard when one is stuck and has mh issues.

Citralopran is ok but masks the pain rather than deals with it properly.

I think it's worse at night if I wake up and cannot sleep. I tend to get that " swimming through treacle" feeling when it comes to my life. Can anyone identify. Or the " working hard and getting nowhere" feeling. One step forwards, two steps back etc etc!

I think suggestions and listeners are helpful.