My career triggers my depression

[HenriettaTurkey]

I'm not a frequent poster on MH boards, so I'm going to apologise in advance in case I use the wrong terminology...and I'm not even sure if this is the right board to post on.

I am currently off work with antenatal depression & chronic anxiety. It's not the first time I've been off longterm with anxiety/depression. But it's the first time in a while.

On reflecting I realise that my career (I'm a teacher) is triggering my condition. And that something I can usually ignore and allow to fester, has become uncontrollable with the change in hormones a pregnancy brings.

So I know I should leave & change my career but...I am the sole earner in our household (DH is sahd) and our 2nd DS is on his way in the new year.

Suggestions from others include going part time/being a TA instead of a teacher. But I feel it's the educational establishment, and probably working in the public sector, that is feeding my illness.

My mum says I'd miss the holidays & it's the depression triggering doubts. I know she has it backwards.

Any change of job would bring a salary that would be so difficult to live on.

Any suggestions?

I think in terms of working up from admin you have to manage your cv carefully. So just taking any old job doesn't work, you have to be clear what you want to get out of it in terms of experience. Also don't stay in one role too long.

career change sounds positive. .. and unemployment is down to 2008 levels so it's not a bad time either.

I have small groups of 5-6 home ed children and charge £5-6 a head so make about £36 for the hour and have 3 groups one day a week. Home edders(like myself) are usually skint but £5 is pretty good value I think. The limiting factor during school hours is the number of local home ed children. Parents are approaching me about 1:1 and about other age groups so perhaps I can build it up.

Trying to kind of have a "portfolio"or mix of income streams atm

How long is not long? In teaching it looks a bit bad if you chop and change doesn't it? Is it not the same in admin... I take it not?

I'd initially looked at clin or ed psych training which is funded, but live too far away to make it workable. I'm aware I've had a career break too... I wondered about volunteering with school/homestart and looking at family worker type roles but to be honest I'd love to leap into something completely different. I'm just not trained for it!

My "superpower" was studying. I have good qualifications on paper, but having only really taught since I was 24 I haven't got much experience to speak of.

Thats interesting misty. What do you teach them? So you include your own children? I had imagined home ed groups being a bit of a co-op with everyone taking turns rather than charging (obviously my knowledge is limited). I also suspect the home edders I'm aware of may well be able to lead more interesting and varied groups than myself. (And having left/thinking of leaving teaching I may have a confidence drop perhaps!)

I've looked at Open University but the courses I applied for preferred post-grad experience.

in terms of not staying in it long you need to be clear what experience you want to get and where to move to. So for example if you fancied hr then get an admin job, convince employer to put you through exams. Have a target of moving up in a couple of years. Don't just take a random job and expect to be promoted, it won't happen. I've known graduates who this had worked for and people who got stuck.

What are you good at? Have you listed your strengths? Which business areas would suit your skills?

As you said you are probably short of confidence, you need to find a way round this.

There are also all sorts of way people make money without having a job as such. phoenix trading, making jewellery, knitting cushions, lots of things. Education companies often advertise for freelancers to deliver training.

I'm a former teacher. I now work for a charity supporting offenders and Class A drug users to access education training and employment though I've done many other roles. I'm about to complete my NVQ 6 in Careers Guidance and development. I also have responsibility for driving diversity strategy and deliver training across the company. In addition I'm self employed as a qualified counsellor seeing individuals and couples and am working on offering some freelance counselling workshops. I'm in West Yorkshire. You're welcome to pm me if I can offer any help.
And your mum will hopefully lose her fear of your career change and be happy to see you happy.

That sounds amazing sooty: and I don't live far from w yorks at all! I'll definitely pm you.

Henrietta as I say, you'd be most welcome to.

Before I clicked I knew you'd be a teacher. I'm a teacher and I've left the profession 3 times because it triggers my depression. I can't go back to it again because I just feel life is too short since having my son. It makes me feel suicidal. I was watching educating the east end where the man was observed and it made me feel sick just watching it.

I'm putting my energy into writing as that's always been my dream. I've also thought when I'm stronger I will do private tuition or even become a baby sitter. I also thought I could get a job IN education (like a uni) being in some sort of support role. Good luck OP. I feel your pain.

DH went in to collect some folders for me yesterday (I'm still off with antenatal depression). We had called office to let them know & they said they'd have them available for me.

He drove the 40mins to school with toddler but when he arrived...no folders, no apology. Class staff were offsite, as was caretaker, so folders inaccessible.

DH said the way he was treated was terrible: his exact phrase to me was 'this is some BS'.

Quite glad it's not just me this school stresses out.

Think it's quite normal though: this is an 'outstanding school'.

Another one who saw the thread title and thought 'bet that's a teacher'. I think it's awful that so many of us feel this way about what should be such a rewarding career.

I had a very difficult time when I returned after mat leave with anxiety and depression. Changing schools helped a great deal, if you've been somewhere a long time it could be worth it? If you move within the LEA then you don't have to pay back mat leave entitlement...

I have finally settled on an 0.4 contract which is ok. If I could leave teaching I would but I feel like the lack of investment in CPD has pretty much deskilled us for any other job.

I too have a long term plan but it'll have to remain a pipe dream for now!

I knew you'd be a teacher too. I am facing the same crisis. I work 0.6 but spend my days off dreading going in.

There is a lot of opportunity outside of teaching. The educational sector is huuuuge. Don't undervalue the experience you have gained teaching - it can be transferable very easily.

You could consider:

• international education, so move your family overseas for a few years. The pay can be phenomenal and if you target a good school it could be fantastic (research is important as there are some terrible ones, but also very good ones)
• look at those offering curriculum development such as IB, Fieldwork or Pearson, EDEXCEL, BTEC, Cambridge
• qualifications bodies such as OFQUAL or the exam boards
• look into teacher training and moving to lecturing rather than teaching directly
• Admissions departments of universities

Just a few ideas, but don't give up hope :) unless you would like something like admin. It doesn't have to be that way if you don't want it though. Seems a shame to waste all your prior experience.

Oh, or museums or galleries that have schools and outreach programmes. These tend to be staffed by ex teachers who understand the curriculum and the context things need to be delivered in.

I am not a teacher but I am in the same boat stress wise. My job makes me ill yet I am the sole earner and will be for a few years more whilst DH studies and we can then swap places. My goal is to not be working by my early 40s so I can enjoy my DD for the remaining time she will be home with us. I have missed out on her babyhood but financial reasons really had us stuck with this arrangement although we are trying hard to get out of it. Doesn't help with my bipolar though!

Fantastic suggestions, livingzuid: will have a look. University admissions could be fun!

Fantastic suggestions, livingzuid: will have a look. University admissions could be fun!

Sorry I wasn't clear on my post - work for Pearson or Cambridge or IB, those organisations that create curriculums. They are all UK based but serve large overseas school groups. A British education is very much valued as a qualification overseas and the system still looked to as a world leader.

Or work for one of the trusts or groups of schools behind schools themselves in the UK. Lots of potential :)

University admissions is an art form in itself these days

I spoke to my parents this weekend. Said I really didn't know if I was going back after mat leave. They are worried and said 'but what will you do if you don't teach?'

At the moment my confidence is so low I don't feel I'd be capable of anything...

Sorry. Self absorbed post. Need to take note of all great suggestions in this thread & start research but I just feel really down. Who am I kidding that there's a decent working life outside teaching?

Sorry it is so rough. Have you been checked for antenatal depression? There are safe medications to take that could help.

As for the long term well that's a typical parent comment to make having worked for several years in the educational world as a non teacher I can assure you the opportunities are plentiful indeed. I couldn't progress any further as I wasn't a teacher which I was gutted about but believe me the work is out there.

There is life after school. Don't give up and if it makes you ill do not go back after your baby arrives. There is a world of choice and opportunity out there. I always find thinking about what I want to do after this job helps me get through it rather than making my depression worse.

You will be wanted and valued in the workplace no matter what you choose to do.

Thanks, living. I have been checked and apparently have moderate/severe antenatal depression as well as chronic anxiety. Not on meds, but had first cbt session today.

Sadly it left me feeling drained & disconsolate. Therapist seemed to suggest that any anxiety I had relating to teaching was due to my bad hip (I'm an SEN teacher and was off with bad hip - moving and handling is a big part of the job).

He seemed to think I'd ping back into shape post pregnancy (unlikely: I've had a bad hip a year - now supplemented by pregnancy pelvis issues!) and then all would be well. Then we moved on to talk about other, equally unsatisfactory things, with equally unsatisfactory comments.

Have asked to be referred to a female therapist now as some stuff quite personal and intimate, which is fine but am now back on the list.

It's tricky as I feel that if I had a plan for work after the baby I'd be less depressed/cope better - but I'm so emotionally drained that even googling is exhausting!

Another self absorbed post. Apologies.

It is tough being pregnant and struggling with all of this. I would ask to see someone else. CBT is not necessarily helpful and actually made me even sicker although when I tried it the first time I found it very helpful. But it isn't some cure all particularly with pg hormones. How does he know what your body will do post pregnancy it's hardly appropriate for him to comment on!

I would go back to your gp and discuss it further. Also have you been referred to a perinatal psychiatrist?

I know how agonising it is to worry about the future once the baby arrives. It consumed me for most of my pregnancy. It is very difficult but do try and take it easy on yourself and just take one day at a time. Perhaps do some blue sky thinking about things you love and see where it takes you.

And keep posting. It's your thread be as self indulgent as you like perhaps post in chat for ideas and more traffic on career direction?