Anyone have experience of a mother with BPD?

[RealisticnotPessimistic]

Long time lurker - first time poster here :)

My mother has Borderline Personality Disorder and has had my entire life. I'm just wondering really if anyone here can relate at all? There doesn't seem to be a lot of information out there for people who may be affected?

I've Googled it (a lot recently!) and have found a few books which I think will help but my local library doesn't stock them so I need to wait for them to be ordered. (Very expensive on Amazon or else I'd have just bought them for myself!)

I'm not really sure why I've posted this...I guess I'm just looking for someone who can understand the difficulties that arise when a parent has it? I can see another thread on here about partners but none for children of the diagnosed.

I think what I'd really like is a point in the general direction of a support group? Or just someone to talk to about it? I've got a good support network in RL but it would be brilliant and very helpful to 'talk' to someone who has been through the same EA and trauma that I have?

TIA

That was pretty garbled and incoherent I think. Sorry :(

Hi real

I am the mother of a bpd daughter and have often wondered what sort of mother she would make. I can only imagine that your upbringing must have been extremely difficult.

I'm not aware of any particular support groups but your really can't beat mumsnet for the support you receive. Its helped me a lot when I've been close to throwing her out because it wears me out so much trying to live with her.

Hopefully someone with more relevant experience will be along soon.

Take care

Hi Flora,

Sorry for the very late reply! I've only just seen your post.

I'm still hoping for a reply from anyone in a similar situation.

Thanks for your message

I'm glad you've found support here. I'm a very long time lurker (pre penis beaker!) and this was my first post so I sit in hope ;)

BUMPING for Real

I've an on/off partner who possibly has BPD (on/off depending upon her mood). I can't relate in terms of a parent having the disorder. However, I have closely monitored the relationship between her and her 2 children - a 15 year old and 6 year old for the past 2 years.

Is there anything specific you'd like to discuss?

Thanks for your reply.
I'm Just curious about the dynamics and how it has affected others. It's so complex and confusing. I just wanted to reach out to others who have experience

It is certainly very complex and one which affects everybody around them. I would guess that the impact upon children would depend on a number of factors including if there is another active parent involved, what help the person with BPD is receiving, if there is drug / alcohol abuse etc.

I have done an awful lot of research which suggest that my personal observations are relatively "typical" of a family where a parent has BPD.

The following link more or less matches my observations exactly:

BPD Family

Hi there, my mum has schizo-affective disorder and was diagnosed when I was 15. I can't say anything about bpd but I can tell you Ive found it hard growing up with a mum with a mental health illness. At the time I was growing up I didn't mind but now I am older (33) and have my own DD I feel let down and sorry for myself (I know it's irrational of me) basically looking back I've never had any guidance or support in my life. I know she loves me dearly and I love her but I can't help but feel sad that I don't have a mum to turn to especially since having a child and not having any help from anyone. My mum is Lovely and none of it is her fault I know that. She's doing well these days, but it has affected her whole life, she has zero confidence and always has bouts of paranoia but she's happy she has a DGD.

Sorry it wasn't about bpd but basically I wanted to share that I know what it's like to have a mother with a long term MH condition

Hi Real,
I was diagnosed with BPD shortly after having my DD. I'm terrified of mentally scarring her and pretty much ruining her life. I know it's not what your looking for, but maybe we could chat about your experience so I can learn how to be a better parent with BPD?
Message me if you're open to this x

I'm Real- just changed username.
New to MN too so keep forgetting to check my posts. Sorry!
Thanks Tiger for the link. I'll look into it when I get a quiet moment. I appreciate it.
Viper- make no apology, it's all relevant if not slightly different, I can't imagine it's ever easy whatever the diagnosis is. Your post I can relate too so well I could have written it myself

MissManage- I'm not sure how helpful to you I can be as my experiences weren't great. That said your set up may we'll be very different from what my mothers was.

PM me if you like.

As I said I'm not sure exactly what I'm hoping for, I guess I was just reaching out