anxiety off work and lost

[mamawitch]

5 months ago I took a job over 100miles away to get my husband away from a serious drug habit that he had battled with for over 10 years. It was the last resort really, I left my eldest son with my parents (who have since separated) and we always thought he would live with us once he finished school next year. However he now refuses to move here to this rural place, I feel frustrated by the lifestyle and I hate my job. I took 2 weeks off mid august, and due to having to leave my son again and having a very sick grandma I ended up with awful anxiety and depression. I have taken 3 weeks off work and am due to return on Monday but I just keep get to g this panic inside me. I am dreading going back to work, I want to move back home and have been looking for jobs but right now I feel very trapped. I am awaiting cbt sessions starting to help me but it could be weeks, I feel so worried about work now and feel like my whole life is just a mess.

Have no advice, sorry. Just wanted to say what you did for your husband was an amazing thing. I hope it all works out. Know people who suffer from anxiety, and depression and I can't feel for you enough. I hope someone can help, but know what you did was amazingly selfless.

Your ds choice to stay might not be about you but around a teenagers attachment to friends. Teenagers DO NOT like change. the fact he wants to stay shows you've raised a confident self sufficient son. I hope it's not a spite thing but if it is talk to him, ask him what he wants. You may be surprised. He may just want to feel listened to.

Best of luck and positive thoughts x

I was signed off work last year with anxiety and depression. In all I was signed off for 7 weeks off by my GP who wouldn't sign me back on until I felt ready. I think you need to go and see your GP and look at getting your fit note extended. I think I would have needed more than 7 weeks if I hadn't also had access to CBT and also been given citalopram.

Are you getting any counselling support for yourself? Is your husband getting any counselling support for his drug problem? Was he getting any when you decided to relocate? Is he in a position to work and contribute to the family finances and look after you, or make decisions that help you feel less pressured? If he isn't then no wonder you feel trapped by the weight of responsibility upon you.

At this point I would say that if your son is happy where he is and is safe and achieving, perhaps let him be for now. The most important thing is that you get strong again and I think that means you need to get back to the GP and get signed off work for longer, also ask about counselling and maybe meds to help you get on top of the anxiety and depression. Get yourself well as the priority, then you can start to think about maybe relocating and getting another job.