I just can't get to sleep no matter what I do

[Meandyou150]

I can't sleep - I literally can't

I lie awake every night, heart racing and my mind just won't let me sleep.

Sleeping tablets no longer work -

I worry all day about having another sleepless night. Low and behold I sit awake all night again.

I'm going to die from lack of sleep in the end I'm sure

I should mention I'm 6 weeks pregnant

I was like this and found mindfulness very helpful. It was the only way I could stop my brain racing

Meandyou, sorry you are struggling like this, lack of sleep is so dreadful, I understand.

Can you say more about what is happening in your life/ for you at present?

It may help,people to offer useful advice.

Well I'm pregnant to limited in what I can take to help

It hit me out of nowhere and now I'm actually scared to go to bed - cos I can't sleep when I get there- and I'm terrified of dying through lack of sleep.

This will sound really stupid- but it lie in bed and basically think "eighth now I'm going to sleep" and then half an hour later I think to myself "am I asleep?" And the fact that I'm thinking that means I'm not asleep. So it's awful.

It's like I've forgotten how to go to sleep. My mind won't let me do it

I'm going to die from this

You're not going to die but it is a form of torture. Even if your not sleeping your body is resting. You do need to see your doctor though as you sound very stressed by this. Think about trying mindfulness as it really helped me and it helps refocus your brain away from the whirling thoughts. I hope you get some sleep soon.

What's mindfulness?

Trying too hard to get to sleep keeps you awake, but I totally understand because I do it and the more worried you get, the harder it is to stop trying.

The good news is that no matter what your body will take over at some point and you will sleep.

What I would do is have something to eat and drink, so that blood sugar and hydration are covered for a while. Then set yourself up in bed, wearing something comfy, and plan to stay there for a long time, but not to sleep. Do you have a tv in your room, or a laptop you can put safely nearby to watch something on - if not, book/ipad/radio. Your plan is simply to do those things, watch a documentary etc, not to sleep. You will be safe because you are in bed and so if you suddenly fall asleep you'll be fine. Your plan is just to allow yourself to relax by relieving the pressure to sleep. It will be ok, I once stayed up for 4 nights in this state and ending up hallucinating. But I got past it and I'm still here.

Remember your plan is relaxing in bed, indefinitely. Tell yourself you can forget about sleep as you're in bed and relaxed and so sleep will take care of itself if it wants to. If you have work on Monday, call in sick or ask someone to do it for you (in case you're asleep ). You don't need the pressure of having to be anywhere.

I do think call your GP, phone them since you're probably not up to driving or walking there. Just to check nothing else is going on, but either way you're not going to die through lack of sleep.

, I had this when I was pregnant. It was terrible. I was put on amitriptyline which really did the trick

Thanks for the words of encouragement

I just find the longer I can't sleep at night the more panicked I get. I can have full blown panic attacks just from staying awake.

I really just want to feel confident in that when I go up to bed - I can actually get some sleep. I'm not so bad if I wake up at night- it's when I can't fall asleep to begin within. I just panic. Start crying - hyperventilating, the works.

I have to get someone to lie with me all night at times. - I just can't deal with this anymore.

There's nothing worse than this there really isn't

I really feel for you as I experienced exactly the same. I was put onto sertaline to stop the anxiety which worked really well for me. I now sleep as well, if not better than I did beforehand - this was 3 years ago. It will get back to normal, you just need some help in removing the anxiety symptoms which are stopping you sleeping x

It's horrid, I am sorry. Remember it might be that the source of the panic is partly that you feel you must sleep, and that because you aren't asleep everything will go wrong. It won't. You won't die, sleep will just come over you when it really needs to, and you don't need to do anything about that. When it comes to lesser inconveniences they don't matter. It is annoying to have to cancel everything because you're so sleep deprived you can't function, but it isn't worth having a panic attack. If you end up that tired, well, you'll cope. It will pass. It won't be as bad as this pressure now.

Do you think you could try the things I said, not trying to sleep...when I said I was up for four nights it wasn't with those things, I was actually trying to sleep.

Mumsnet is here all night so they'll be someone you can talk to if you panic. Make a plan that if you start to feel very stressed you'll post on here, you'll get up and make some tea, etc..

Try not to set yourself up to fail by thinking you must be asleep. If you stay awake it will be a temporary thing, it won't have any disastrous consequences so long as you take care of yourself by just resting and not trying to do normal things while sleep deprived. It is ok to go to bed and think - right, sleep's not working for me right now so I'll just lie and rest my body while watching this etc...

I think you will fall asleep that way, but the trick is not to focus on that as the goal, to really convince yourself that you are ok staying awake and that you expect to be awake watching something. Ideally something not completely gripping but enough to hold your interest and stop your mind racing to other things.

The goal isn't sleep, it is relaxation. You can't make yourself sleep, sleep will occur when you are relaxed. Now you can't relax while thinking that everything is going to go wrong because you haven't slept. So let that go. Clear your diary. Your only plan is to 'relax'. If it seems not to work, just tell yourself that is ok, you obviously need a bit more time to wind down, just keep going with whatever you're occupying your mind with.

Thanks again - I will try that. I'm just awful for catastrophising. I can see me being wheeled in somewhere - locked up coz I've lost my mind

I will try and relax - but it's hard when even thinking about the sleep for a second makes adrenaline corse through my body. I can't seem to stop it.

I think I've actually developed a phobia of sleeping. That's not a good situation

I have had periods of sleep difficulty and its crap indeed.

I found by accident that if I prepare myself in one way then I usually fall asleep.Even if I have been going through the 'am I asleep' scenario it usually works .

What I do is lie on my left side and try to make sure I'm lying as if I am asleep.Relaxed posture.

Then I deliberately turn my eyes to 'look' at the left side -toward the pillow really. It doesn't take me long to fall asleep this way and is the go to method when Im struggling.

I think it works because when you cant fall asleep and become aware you are still awake you start 'looking' straight ahead out of your closed eyelids. Of course you cant see anything but now your mind has a nice clean slate to create pictures to entertain you.This now can keep you awake all night.

By looking to the side this doesn't seem to happen. I dont know if it works by looking to the right side as that's not the way I sleep.It might work for you

Do you think its worth a go?

Also, and I really want to stress this, if in another week or two things are not settling ( which they may well do as the hormones change and settle) then please go back to your GP and request an urgent referral either to the local CMHT or specifically to a psychiatrist who has an interest or specialism in antenatal psychiatry.

They will be in an excellent position to make the safest and most helpful prescribing choice if you do require medication during pregnancy.

Many many medications are thought be be safe in pregnancy especially once you get to 12 weeks, if the overall benefit ( ie in keeping you physically and mentally well and able to get through the pregnancy) outweighs any small risk to the baby then it us sensible to think carefully about taking something.

Also many people find that they only need a few days of sleep inducing medication and they have broken the cycle and are able to continue drug free. X

I forgot to add that I used earplugs too at the start when I was at my wits end with it all. I had always avoided them as I have tinnitus and sssumed they would make it worse.
That didnt happen and I realised that they reduced the hyper awareness that contrbuted to non sleeping.
Between the 2 things -earplugs and eye position I xan thankfully fall asleep and return to sleep if awakened 99% of the time.

Had another night without sleep-
Just lying here in a ball crying

Oh no, sorry to hear that. I thought of you last night because I woke up after about 2 hours and didn't get back to sleep, but my own advice didn't really work. It's ok, it is horrible to go through but it will end. You'll sleep soon, wake feeling a bit jetlagged maybe.

Do you think you could call the GP tomorrow for advice? Is it possible to take any medication or not at this stage in the pregnancy?

It's all about weighing up benefit to risk at this stage of pregnancy.

So maybe psych will help I don't know- I just can't go on like this

Don't know what all this can be doing to the baby

Definitely call your GP

I've found the relaxation podcasts from the Mental Health Foundation very helpful. Yes it does feel like torture, but it is NOT forever. Even when you can't sleep, try to let your body rest.

You poor thing. It's awful. For mindfulness have a look at this- really good, free trial etc .

www.headspace.com

not sure about in pregnancy- check with pharmacist but kalms can help. This works do lovely lavender sleep stuff too.

A short course of medication may just be enough to 'reset' your body clock - you wouldn't necessarily have to take it throughout your pregnancy.

Meand so sorry to hear you had another bad night. There are some really wonderful suggestions on the thread and of course the very important advice to visit your GP.

Even if you cannot take any meds to help, just telling them what you are experiencing can be helpful and they may have some additional advice.

What helped me break a very bad cycle was:
Feeling safer by using talking therapy - apparently feeling unsafe to 'give yourself over to sleep' is common.
Early nights - v early, like 9pm, coupled with meditation in bed. I was still up at 4 but somehow was better for me than going to bed late.
Valerian tea & lavender sprays - no idea if either are safe for you when pregnant but ask your GP
Black out curtains

And, well, not great if you want support mid way through the night, but staying off pc/phone or having the light on during the night etc, if you can.

I do hope things settle for you

Thank u all

Has anyone ever felt that their body has simply forgotten how to sleep?

Sacre makes a good point about being afraid to go to sleep. Do you think that is part of it?

I don't want to make you feel worse so I'm not sure how to put this, but I have felt at times a desire to sleep but also a resistance, as if falling asleep would be a kind of death. That is totally wrong of course, I think it is just a kind of hyper vigilance where we feel we have to be on alert all the time.

Yes, I do know that feeling of having forgotten how to sleep, and wondering why on earth I can't do something that comes to so many people so easily.

What's the plan for this evening for you OP?

I'm going to just have to keep battling through this.

It's like a battle every single day- just to get through it.

I am scared to go to bed now, cos I'm scared of lying awake again/ with everyone asleep around me. It's the worst feeling in the world