Help me please!! Losing it and pregnant

[Meandyou150]

Hi everyone I need help badly

A few years back I had a mental breakdown- almost admitted to a psych ward in the end - but I did final recover.

I've been very well since then- however I'm now 6 weeks pregnant and terrified as everything has flared back up again big time.

I don't know how it started- but a few weeks back I struggled to sleep, usually when this happens I would reach for my prescription meds which I always have just in case. However I suddenly thought, hang on I'm pregnant I can't do that!!

I lay awake all night- then struggled through a very long work day. Came home in tears due to exhaustion, and went to bed early and again found I couldn't sleep. Every time I lay down my heart raced and I could not shut my brain off.

Fast forward 2 weeks ahead I'm barely sleeping, am signed off work and am suffering all the effects of anxiety- I can't eat- cry all day- don't want to go out and do anything. Every night I'm lucky if I can get a couple of hours sleep. It's torture- particularly being pregnant.

I used to be anti depressants and now I'm being advised not to take them- I just don't know what to do! My gp has referred me- but as usual have to wait weeks to be seen.

Also I'm meant to be going on holiday to America in 3 weeks!! What do I do?!

I just need to get some sleep and need to get this under control- before it takes me over. I can't lie awake all night- will I eventually lose my mind?!!

Help

So sorry you are feeling so bad MeandYou - I know it's possible to have depression in the ante natal period and once you've had one episode you are always at risk of having a 2nd one. There are I think ADs you can take when you are pregnant as I've heard other young moms talk about them on these threads. I'm a grandmother so wouldn't know.

When you say the GP has referred you - who to? Is it the GP saying you can't take ADs - you could google "taking ADs when pregnant" and see what comes up. You sound like you are in need of support NOW. What about the midwife - surely they must know about ante natal depression and what meds are safe to take.

Having trouble with sleep is one of the symptoms of depression and anxiety as I'm sure you know, so maybe you have to accept that this is the case, but you absolutely will not lose your mind - I have intermittent depression and it is severe at times (have been on a psych ward twice but 15 years between each episode) so I know what a torment it is.........you probably need diazepam for the anxiety (but not sure if you can take them while pregnant)

Do you have a DH/DP - if so I think you need him/her (or someone else) to get you another GP apt so that you can get meds if that's possible and get the midwife involved.

You won't be able to go to work while you are so poorly, so you will need sick notes - I suppose it depends how you feel about the forthcoming trip to America nearer the time. I know it's easy to say, but try to ease the anxiety a little by lying flat and putting you hands on your tummy (top one) and take a deep breath in to the count of 6 or 7 or 8 and hold for a couple of seconds (Feel your tummy rise) and then a long breath out (imagine you are blowing a feather across a long table) and feel your tummy release on the outbreath. Having someone gently having their hands on your shoulders helps and counting the breaths with you.

Hope you get the support you need, but don't despair (though I know how hard it is not to despair) but there will be brighter times ahead.

Sorry - me again - I just re-read your post and noticed you said you needed to control the way you are feeling but that isn't possible, not in the sense that you can do something to stop the illness, any more than you could mend your broken leg. I think mental illness is deceitful because it does actually make us think there is something we should be able to do to STOP it. There are things we can do to make it more bearable (talk to someone we trust, crying can help even if it is wearing, it can relieve tension, accepting that you have an illness and you need meds and support to get better.............and you will get better but in the fullness of time. You got better last time didn't you.