Looking for BDP relationship success stories

[Hollerback]

Just that really. Does anyone have a DP with BPD and is in a successful relationship? How does it work?

Sorry, just realised my title is wrong. It should be BPD.

I have bdp and have been with my husband for nine years. It just works tbh.

I have BPD and have been married 4 and a half years. He's my rock and keeps me stable.

You mean borderline personality, or bi-polar disorder?

Borderline Personality Disorder.

In that case that's me - my partner is basically the opposite of most of my other relationships. He puts up with a lot basically, and I couldn't tell you why!

Hiya, Hollerback.

I'm 32 and was diagnosed Borderline in 2008 after having struggled with self-harm, numerous suicide attempts, and a lot of self-destructive behaviour since my mid teens.

DH (we've been married 4 years) would describe our relationship as successful. It's taken a lot of work from both of us, and commitment to strive to be healthy on my part. This means discussing and agreeing together when I need to pursue therapy (which I need from time to time) and medication (which I'm on at the moment).

Previous relationships were unsuccessful because some DPs let me get away with bratty behaviour, while others just called me "mental" and "psycho" and bailed at the first sign of trouble.

DH doesn't put up with any crap from me, but he assures me that as long as I try, he'll try too. His general treatment of me gives me faith that it's true.

I have to admit that having children has made a huge difference for me. Structure and routine and a lot less alcohol have made my impulses easier to control.

Thanks littleacceb. Can I ask how would you see your relationship going if you had refused treatment and tried to manage it on your own.

That's a really tricky one, to be honest. I guess if I had been proactive in my self-management (reading, journalling, meditation etc) then we would be in the same place we are now.

But if I had tried to tell myself it wasn't a big deal, and that nothing needed to be done, then no - we would've had too many big rows, I would've either said "well why don't you just leave me, then?" or said or done something too hurtful to take back.

Are there any specific concerns about your DP you'd like to ask about?

I have lots, but not really any I can ask on here, and ones that No-one can answer. The most important ones at the minute are 'is he missing me?' And 'did he really love me?' He's gone no contact, apart from demanding I get my belongings from the house, I can't believe someone who professed to love me so much can be this cold.

I'm so sorry. What a horrible experience to go through. Xx

If I had refused treatment my relationship would have broken down. No doubt about it. No one can put up with a spouse with bpd forever. It's too chaotic and stressful.

After treatment, I now have a calm peaceful life and to be honest I don't even feel i meet the criteria anymore for the diagnosis. People with bpd can be 'fixed' but they have to want to. Otherwise there is no hope.

Little, I would agree about children. Since I had dd I have felt better than ever before. Stronger and more emotionally resilient.

So it's been two weeks. I've had no contact from him other than the texts about getting my stuff. He won't see or speak to me. I desperately want him back, I'm willing to change my behaviour any way I can to help him. How can I make him see this.