I just need a handhold/wine/flowers/whatever is going

[hellodownhilldepressionfuckoff]

Just a bad patch I am going through. Lots going on in my life. OH is a cheating fuckwit, DS has just started nursery (told me to go home, so feeling a but put out, while feeling proud) Lots of mental health things. The benefit people want me to go 30 minutes from my house to an app, when I find it difficult to leave my house.

I have it in my head I wouldn't have to deal with it if I just took that knife and put it against my wrists. But I am finally dealing with things. Taking my own life now feels like a cop out. This makes me feel stronger, because its the first time in a while I have thought that.

Wine is acceptable but I will take a victoria sponge cake

I have weak orange squash. And an interweb .

How weak is weak? I do like my orange squash strong

But thank you. I have gone down since I wrote this and am probably going to have to ring the crisis team if I get much worse.

TBH I just wish they would figure out what is wrong with me.

Do you have chocolate biscuits?

Yes I do! Dark chocolate digestives.

Try to hold on. The small hours can be the worst time. But it can change, and time will pass. Feelings are not facts. They do feel as though they are though, but they can and will change.

You ring the team if you need to. It's a good thing to recognise if you're not well, and good self care.

I am really hungry, me! Give us the biscuits back when you've had some!

takes pack mmmmmmmmmm

I am going to keep that quote in mind, its a great quote. I shall use it on my positive board. Thank you

I think I am nearly there with the asking for help, just need a push on occassion

sniff you want the biscuits back cries in a corner as I hand them back :-p

Thank you Kleptronic you have made me smile which is what I needed :D

Ah bless you. Thanks for being brave and posting!

Don't struggle on your own if you could do with some assistance. That's what the crisis team are there for. People need support with illness, and you deserve to get it.

I'm going to fall asleep any minute so don't think I've wandered off. Well I will have, of course, but I'll be back in the morning. With crumpets and tea.

I have Nutella sandwiches and tea and sympathy. That's great your DS is coping so well you have raised a strong boy. Could you explain to the people you will struggle to go 30 mins? Maybe there will be another option? Xxx

Kleptronic Could I have crumpets and coffee please, night night and thank you again

Ellimam I will take it all thank you. He is a very strong boy and I am so proud of him (not so proud of him at the strop when I came to take him home, but can't have everything)

I am hoping there is another option, but if I don't turn up to this interview then they will stop my benefits and due to a whole load of mental conditions (mainly OCD) I can't ring them till a Friday and I am not looking forward to it,

Crumpets and coffee for yer! How're you this morning?

for you

Another thread has given me an idea. Could you download some audio books to listen to at night? It will give your mind something to do. And you can lie down, close your eyes and just relax into it. Part of good mental health is learning to look after yourself and nourish your mind and heart.

There are some very good suggestions on the other thread for books that help in dark periods.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a2182435-To-ask-for-recommendations-for-bedtime-reading-to-help-me-through-a-dark-time

Thank you. I have tried listening to calming music, but I then get a feeling that with my head phones in I wont hear my son. So it makes me more panicky and thus wipes out any good it does

Maybe don't use headphones?

Do you enjoy reading? You could read the books instead of listening to them, if that would help...