How do I support my beautiful daughter - so scared

[bowbear]

It has been a roller coaster of a week and I am trying to come to terms with what has happened. DD is 13 and the last year has been a really tricky time. Tearful, angry, withdrawn.....she has immersed herself in a world of fantasy books and films, teaching herself to speak Elvish. We have been on walking on eggshells not knowing how each day was going to pan out, some days she is fine and upbeat, other days she seems so distant. At school she appears to be fine - I have contacted them in the past when she was really struggling and there was no change at school and she is thriving academically.

This week she refused to go to school, crying, shouting etc - this has happened on several other occasions. I made a GP appointment and while we were there she revealed that she has been hearing a voice in her head for the last year. I am devastated that I did not know and haven't been able to help, she's been carrying this on her own. She has been referred to camhs and we are waiting for an apt, which may take time. I couldn't bear not to follow up as she had been brave enough to speak up and she had her first counselling session with a private psychologist today.

She has now shared much more about how she is feeling and I'm at a loss to know what to say. I'm trying to keep life as normal as possible while still encouraging her to talk to me. I'm so out of my depth and scared of what the future holds.

If anyone can offer any advice or experience I would be so grateful

Poor sweetheart - and poor you! But now you are moving forward together.

There are ways to treat/manage this and - depending on the 'diagnosis' there will be excellent supportive charities/groups of people in a similar position. The internet is sooo good for this. I used to volunteer on such a helpline and it was so good to hear someone who started all tense and tearful end up feeling much better and with some practical contacts/suggestions of what was available. You are not alone and this is not uncommon - and it will be less frightening when you understand it!
I am surprised that you are having to wait for the referral appointment though - youngsters are usually expedited. The relevant support charity should be able to help you to speed that up. All the best and hopefully you will be sorted well before Christmas.

Well done.
Have you contacted young minds, they would really help you.
I think early onset problems are more likely to only be childhood things.

Im sorry that I dont have an answer for you, I just really wanted to acknowledge your despair as one mum to another.

Oh Bowbear I'm sure all of us mothers can understand your fears and concern for your lovely girl. I think the good thing that your daughter has started to talk to you about what's happening and that must be such a relief for her, though upsetting for you. I'm sure you realise that you will have to try to remain calm and not show your DD that you are very upset about what she is telling you, though she will know you well enough to see your concern. She is more likely to keep talking to you if you are able to "hold onto what she is telling you" in a calm way, and don't ask her too many questions - just let her talk when she feels like it. You could ask her what would help her........sorry I'm sure you know all this stuff anyway.

I don't think you should jump to conclusions at this stage as this may be a passing phase and agree with Ledkr that Young Minds would be a help to you and your daughter. ALSO very importantly, look after yourself - I know all your care and concern is for your DD but you need to ensure you have someone to talk to and take care of your own health or you won't be able to support your DD as well as you want to.....if that makes sense.

Sorry it's late and I'm waffling...........but wanted to reach out to you x

I was going to suggest Young Minds too. They have a brilliant website.

Thank you all so much for taking time to reply, it means so much.

I had a call from camhs today and they have prioritised her for an early appointment so we should hear back with an appointment in the next week. Unusually for me I have been really calm when she has been sharing things with me, but my god have I howled when she's not around!! I know that I mustn't jump to conclusions but I feel so out of my depth. I will look up Young Minds because I will take all the help I can to enable me to support DD. I have suspected for a while that all was not well but I never expected to be in this situation with her.

Although quite emotional, she seemed a little relieved after her first session with the psychologist but although she shared a lot with me afterwards I feel very much in the dark with regard to the implications of how she is feeling and the counsellor made it clear that she would not be able to disclose anything DD discussed during the sessions, I'm wondering if camhs offer feedback/diagnosis??

Thanks again for your kind thoughts, whilst I have family and friends I can talk to I feel like it's not my secret to share and don't want DD thinking that everyone is talking about her.