Feeling so down about my family. Sorry long!

[downinthedumpsagain]

Changed name.
I have been feeling just slightly overwhelmed mainly with the housework since DS was born (almost 9 months ago), but have recently got a lot more energy. Have even started fancy sex now and again..
But today I just feel so very down. I met my sis earlier and felt so rejected. Since she met her new BF (also 9 months ago) she never rings me unless she wants something and if I ring I don't get her full attention as her BF normally strips off or tickle her in the background or in some other way try to get her attention. I only ever see her if BF is doing something else so always a very short time slot. This (and other things) has made me dislike him. Today she txt to ask if we were coming into town to meet up with them so I got myself, DS and DH ready we walked into town only to give her some advise and then when I said join us and have a coffee outside a pub (nice, trendy and clean) they said no coz they wanted to have coffee in a coffeebar. Similar things have happened a lot and it makes me so sad.
We used to be so close but now I start thinking that it would be easiernot to have any more contact with her as she upsets me all the time and makes me feel worthless.

Then I rang my dad, who is an alcoholic since forever but has only recently admitted it. He starts every day with something strong and has recently given up on his job and life in general so all he does is get really drunk.
He keeps saying he has no purpose now me and sis are grown up (we have both moved 100's of miles away). I can't help feeling guilty about being so far away and can't help thinking that if I lived closer then seeing his grandson might kick him into doing something. He goes into detox all the time, but starts drinking as soon as he is released.
He was a voilent and irrational father but he was all we had after mum left when we were little. My sis shrugs it all off and don't have any guilt at all but I do....
His own father drank himself to death but he idolises him.
Am I being too sensitive?

oh downinthedumpsagain ((((hugs))))

I think you need to invite your sis over (without the bf) and have a heart to heart.
As for your dad, please dont feel guilty, some times some people just cant be helped and you have to let go for your own good.
Look at what you have in your life thats good, your DH and DS and build on that.
Your not being too sensitive, your being caring, nothing wrong with that.

Not at all my partner still calls himself an alcoholic but does not drink anymore. It will get better. Does he go to AA? My partner on his off days still has this. With your sister I think she should make more of an effort I lost my sis and had no one to turn too when my son was born. Keep pestering her til she realises cause when there gone thats it. Sorry to be sad and all but if you don't say what you want from them they probably won't think anything's wrong. Good Luck

Oh, thank you both. I'm sorry you lost your sis lozzawoo. And well done your partner, were you together through his alcoholism? or did you meet him after?
No dad doesn't attend AA meetings just gets detoxed then goes out drinking apparently tells docs at A&E that he will as well, so not even wanting to stay clean..

Hi he started drinking at 15 and stopped when he met me we have a beautiful little boy now and he lives for him dotes on him lol.... he is now 38 and over the years got himself into a lot of trouble but with the support of others such as AA he got through it. Don't get me wrong sometimes he just feels like a drink. It would be great if ur dad could overcome this.
With regards to my sis keep that contact strong. Brothers you can't talk to them u would a sis

My dad is 61 this year and seems to have given up. Always used to drink but now he drinks all day long.
Don't know what to say, will try to talk to him in person when we go over in 2 weeks time.
Feel better after writing this all down anyway and I promised I would phone dad tomorrow morning.
Thank you for your help

And well done again to your partner who is a success story which gives us all hope..

downinthedumps - sorry to hear you are feeling down, but perhaps it is an idea to move your focus away from your sister and dad to something more positive, perhaps other friends or another interest, and of course your lovely family? I know it is harder done than said, but I know that nearly every friend I've had proves to be a bit elusive and aloof when they meet new loves and they often cannot see what they are doing as they are just enjoying their loved up feelings. A heart to heart may cause more problems right now especially as you don't like her bf. She is not rejecting you just trying to find her feet in this new relationship. We have all done this to some extent but perhaps don't know it!

Try not to feel guilty about your dad, be encouraging and supportive but you can't live his life for him, he has chosen this path and will change when it is right for him.

take care x

True words trying2bgood . Anyway I'm off to bed now and I'm sure everything will look better in the morning..