Fuck, I'm making such a mess of everything.

[LapsedTwentysomething]

Struggling.

DM has cancer. It doesn't look like she will recover and I don't believe we'll have her for long. I just cannot be strong for her.

We are isolated from her family because of a difference of opinion on dogs, of all things, and I'm just alienating us more because I just can't help taking their views personally (they won't shut a snappy dog away from DCs and my view is increasingly fuck you though I'm aware I'm OTT). That is making it worse but my attitude is also a symptom of my mindset iyswim.

The DCs are rubbish sleepers. Dd takes ages to go to sleep and DS wakes through the night. We are both sleep deprived.

I have taken on a FT teaching job (before mum got worse) and now I've started I know I can't cope. We will barely get by but I think I will have to quit.

What in the name of fuck to do?

Sorry, rambling and ranty.

Hi as a teacher you are entitled to paid sick leave - so could you start doing the first days/week to see how it goes and then go to gp and ask either for a fit note to give you altered hours or signed off?

If your work knows your dm is terminal with not long to go you may find them supportive.

I have just spoken to DM who is wonderful and not blaming me for my inability to cope at all. I am too quick to listen to those who do blame me and need to stop.

I think I will email ht and hod before mum's next results to make them aware. I can't talk in person about it.