i am really struggling to understand if I have depression or not. I have read up on the symptoms and i must say i am not consumed by great sadness at random moments of the day. It is more like, i walk around feeling empty and, by default, sad all the time. I function well at work, I am chatty and do my job as everyone expects. I can make decisions. But when I come home, I feel lost and like a different person completely.
I don't drink, smoke, or eat unhealthily. My friends call me a 'health nut' because i really take care of my diet and I am really into exercise. In fact, I manage not to feel so lost when i am running. I don't just go for a jog, I will run for 3.5 hours straight and I'm always counting my miles. Anything less then 10 doesn't seem enough.
On my days off work I do plenty of activity, I go on long hikes and socialise with my friends. I like to go to the extreme to feel things, extreme activities like skydiving.
I feel like I shouldn't have anything to be sad about. But I feel like this every day. I actually have started to dread every day because I know I can't shake it off. It's been going on for months.
i'm just confused to what I'm feeling as it doesn't seem to fall into the typical behaviour of a depressed person. Or maybe it does and I'm missing something.
Thank you.