Panic attack...

[MySpideySenseTickles]

Went to the pound shop for three things, didn't have any cash on me so went to pay by card but they wouldn't take a card payment for less than £5 I had to walk away, I could feel the panic rising but I needed the stuff so grabbed two things off the shelves that looked useful (tiny colander and waterproof dog mat anyone, I don't even have a dog!) paid and was getting fuzzy round the edges, couldn't breath and feeling faint, felt like my heart was being crushed but I had ds with me and he's only three so couldn't let it show too much, I told him mummy was poorly and can he help mummy? The utter darling led me through the carpark to the car (along paths there was no actual road or carpark to cross) then held my hand tight while I unlocked the car and went and sat really nice and quiet in his seat with his book while I tried to recover, the worst part only lasted 10-15 min then I strapped him in and was calm enough to drive home, he's having his nap now while I try and distract myself enough to get rid of the residual ball o panic in my throat.

I'm so ashamed though that my three year old ds had to help me

You poor love, horrible for you. I have no sensible advice but your DS is wonderful. Maybe a ?

The most important thing is you got through it. You remained calm enough to get your self and DS back to the car.

Have a cuppa, and take some deep breathes.

I'm ok now, still a bit twitchy but ok, I'm nervous about a big family wedding tomorrow, I'm expecting upset an unpleasantness (fil and mil didn't speak to that side of the family for ten years after the other sibling married and fil who was uncle of the bride was sat at the back and snubbed) I'm expecting it all to happen again except fil has died now.

If it starts like last time then Dh is going to get angry (it's his cousin getting married) then mil is going to get upset. I just know I'll panic, I'm going to make sure I can find and reach the exits quickly and if it starts I'll either dash outside or find a quiet corner away from everyone.
I told Dh what happened today and that I'm worried about tomorrow, he says he'll help me outside if I need to and he'll drive us all home if I can't cope. I'd love to be able to say he was being sweet and thoughtful but he doesn't want to go and is looking for any excuse not to go or to leave early.

I don't have much advice, but can fully understand your anxiousness surrounding tomorrow.

I hope it goes well, I am sure it will. I often find things are always worse in my head in the build up to a difficult situation.

I suspect your panic attack has not helped but you are stronger than you think. Your little buy sounds lovely and I bet he just came away feeling ever so proud of himself for helping his Mum x

Sorry boy not buy!

Sometimes it helps to know you're not on your own, so here goes!! I'm agoraphobic and have had to tell my 6 year old son that mummy can't take him to the park (zoo, football, toy shop, whatever) because she has a silly head that makes her feel scared even when there's nothing to be scared about.

Embarrassed and ashamed.

You got through it, keep going, you will be ok.

Ds knows mummy has a poorly head and it makes me sad sometimes.
He sang incey wincey spider to me all the way to the car too! It gave me something to focus on and lowered my panic a bit, I reccomend 3 year olds singing as therapy.