Hi everyone, hoping you can help me decide what to do, if anything.
I was diagnosed with depression last year and I've been on citalopram since November. It didn't really have any effect until I was put up to 40mg but this doesn't appear to be working anymore.
I've recently been referred to an NHS psychologist whose started treating me using CBT designed for trauma as I have (pretty much all of) the symptoms of PTSD. Over the past 4/5 weeks I've started feeling extremely low, worthless and depressed. It's starting to get extremely difficult to get out of bed and everything just seems so pointless. I feel like such a massive drain on my family and friends. I'm trying so hard to get better and it's not working, it's just getting worse.
Over the past week or so I've started to seriously think about suicide. I've been planning what I would write in a note, I've almost decided how I would do it. I don't really want to die but I feel like everyone around me would be better off. I'm really scared to think like this.
I don't have a check up with my gp for another 6 weeks and it would take at least 2 weeks to get an appointment if I phoned and asked for one tomorrow unless I ask for an emergency appointment. I don't know if this is an emergency though? I don't want to waste anyone's time.