I'm Feeling Down

[MRSF2B2014]

Hello,

I don't know why I'm writing on here as I'm not asking a question, I just feel like crying at the moment.

I'm engaged to an amazing man - getting married in November which I am so excited about.

However, I have been feeling down for a long time (long before engagement) I just feel like, where am I going with my life? - I have a pretty rubbish job (feel stuck), when I search elsewhere I don't seem to get a reply. (I only have GCSE'S) and would love to go back to college to study HE course in Nursing but we have a mortgage and we can't afford it on my OH's wage.

Every few weeks I have some sort of breakdown where I can't do anything, I can't eat, just sit around and cry. My OH knows about this and tries to help but can't understand it. - I think I may be suffering with Depression but when I speak to him about it he says don't be silly, look at the lovely flat we own etc, so I have given up discussing it (This has been happening for about a year). I have been to the doctor and they give you a 'test' - great some tick boxes - they really need to do more to understand mental health - and got told that looking at my test I am fine. OK.

I also struggle because I feel I have no real friends, I have one person that I can talk to but we don't go out much so most of my nights I'm sitting in at home, which in itself gets me down, because I just sit around thinking about all the bad things in the world etc

I guess can anyone recommend anything to try and help me? - I have tried to look for a free class or something in the evenings, where I can just go an meet people, but haven't found anything.

I have an app on my iPad - essentially a diary, where I try and write there positive things about my day, as well as three things I want to change about my life.

I've also found that a bit of exercise every day lifts my mood generally. Even ten minutes of walking helps.

Life can be overwhelming at times, I know. I was diagnosed with depression following a tricky time post separation and I think I am through it, for now. My mood can be up or down at times but I try and focus on the little things that personally help me.

You can always try another doctor. Or perhaps your work offer a confidential counselling service?

Thank you very much for your reply.

I was very into my fitness last year but it fizzled out, I am going to try and start going more often and trying to eat better.

I think your right about writing things down, I need to think about positives which I try to but forget when I'm very down, if I have a little book maybe i can read it in those moods.

I find it very difficult to talk to doctors now as have had a few bad experiences with different ones. Can always try again though.

Thanks for your help and support.

I find by thinking about what has been positive very day helps me focus on the good things. I forgot to add that I try and link the things I want to change with positive things I do the next day.

You say that it gets bad every few weeks. .. I've heard that progesterone levels can do bad things to one's mood. Worth charting your period and mood for a few months, to see if there is a pattern.

Meet up.com has free things to do, or have you considered volunteering somewhere? My city has befrienders for OAPs and new mums, you might find something like that?