Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

My sister - do I just but out or try to help again? :(

6 replies

Badvoc123 · 10/08/2014 12:18

Hi,
Not sure whether this is the right section tbh or good housekeeping! But if you feel it's not suitable do please tell me and I will ask for it to be moved.
My sister is 40, married (to a total waste of space) and has 2 school age sons.
She was always so house proud. She out me to shame!
But, no more.
In the past couple of years (poss more) the house, garden and garage have become major issues.
There is stuff everywhere. Piles of it. Even on the stairs. They have little or no storage and he garage is full top to bottom of bils crap and they can no longer use the back garden as it's simply unsafe for the dc.
The grass is knee high and the decking has not been maintained since they put it up some years ago so it's rotten :(
My bil works away I the week and earns silly money - he is a self employed IT consultant.
It's an awful thing to say but I think that's why she is still with him. She loves the lifestyle.
5/6 holidays a year - but to the same place...bil won't go anywhere else.
She can buy whatever she wants, within reason.
She has just had a brand new car.
BUT she is miserable :(
She is on ADs and hates the house.
They bought it at the height of the market off plan and are now in considerable negative equity.
They have also never done any maintenance so the house is looking much older than its 9 years.
I would guess they are about £80k at least in negative equity.
Last week I offered (again) for my Dh to do a run to the tip for her after I had to climb over boxes of rubbish to get into her bedroom :(
And she agreed!!
I was so pleased...then she text me Friday night and said she hadn't had time to sort it :(
I have also in the past offered for her to get a skip and we will help her empty the garage.
She insists that her Dh do it. He will NEVER do it.
I can't help her can I?
Wwyd?

OP posts:
Badvoc123 · 10/08/2014 12:21

...should also have said I think she has a shopping addiction.
She goes shopping most days, even if it's only to a supermarket and shops online too.
She buys things she doesn't need.
Last month she bought the dc new hand held games consoles - £400 - for no reason.
I would imagine her grocery bill is £800/900 per month.
She is always so stressed...my bil is a horrible man and treats her like staff but she insists she loves him.
I am worried about her.

OP posts:
LastingLight · 11/08/2014 17:52

I can see why you are worried about your sister, she sounds unwell. Who do you think is the hoarder, him or her? Or both of them?

Badvoc123 · 11/08/2014 17:56

Both.
He just fills the house with laptops etc and never picks up after himself.
If he has a take away (often) late at night she will come down to the mess in the morning.
He won't even put the bins out for her :(
She just buys things.
All the time.
Things she doesn't need and has no room for.
I have no idea what I can do, if anything.

OP posts:
Badvoc123 · 13/08/2014 07:14

Thank you x

OP posts:
fanjobiscuits · 13/08/2014 07:17

Fly lady website is excellent if you can find some way of showing your sister.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page