Really struggling - something's gotta give

[ShyPhilosopher]

I'm going through a really tough time at the moment. Saying that, I am not sure when I last wasn't going through a tough time. Everything is getting pretty overwhelming again though.

I have mental health problems, namely anxiety (GAD & social anxiety), depression and agoraphobia. They are so bad, I have not been able to work since having a nervous breakdown just over a decade ago. My resilience seems to be completely depleted at the moment. The latest problem for me to try to manage is my 2nd eldest daughter (she's 12) has admitted she is so depressed she wants to die & has considered suicide methods. She's had difficulties with anxiety in the past & saw the local CAMHS team for support, but they discharged her too soon. We've taken her to the dr, which wasn't easy with my agoraphobia, but our gp was really dismissive. She said CAMHS don't like receiving referrals & that we should just contact my daughter's school (despite it being the school holidays & therefore nobody is answering the phone there). I explained how she was suicidal at times, my gp simply told my daughter "well, you're not going to do anything about that, are you?". To make matters worse, my son seems to be really regressing with his autism and our eldest daughter has come back from university looking like her eating disorder has not gone away.

It just feels like everywhere I turn, there's something stressful that I can't do anything to help. I feel so powerless. I also feel at the end of my tether. I have no support from my parents, as my mother truly is a narcissist. I cut ties with her, as the way she treats me was very detrimental to my well-being. My father disappeared from our lives when I was a teenager. My brother's a paranoid schizophrenic, so I can't go to him for support as stress makes him worse. Anyway, his mind's so gone, all conversations just constantly loop round. I no longer live in my home town either, so don't have family or my old friends near me. My agoraphobia got much worse shortly after moving up here, so I haven't been able to make local friends either. My husband is trying to be supportive, but he has chronic back pain which he's on morphine patches for, so he is often in & out of conciousness throughout the day.

The only support I have for my mental health problems is medication & appointments with my psychiatrist roughly twice a year. I've been on the waiting list for further therapy for around a year now & don't even have a CPN.

I'm so sorry you are finding life so hard right now.

I would be taking my dd to a different gp and fight to get someone to take her seriously. I know that must seem like a huge mountain to climb right now, but it is important that your dd receives some support.

I would schedule an appointment with your psychiatrist and push for your further therapy. Explain to him/her that your mental health is deteriorating and you need help. You have an extremely tough family situation and your children need you to be able to cope.

Have you thought about asking social services for support? They aren't just there to take people's children away, they offer support to struggling families.

Your older dd, is she receiving support for her eating disorder?

for you, you are doing your best in a bloody hard situation.

OP I'm sorry, this is all so difficult and no wonder you feel at the end of your tether. I wish I could give some helpful advice but I don't know much about accessing services, I agree with flanjabelle above.

GP sounds bloody hopeless. Is it possible to see someone else at the surgery, difficult as it will be? My surgery does some telephone appts. Are your other children getting support for their problems? Your older daughter may be able to access things through the Uni.

Thank you both for your kind words.

My next appointment with the psychiatrist is on Monday, it kept getting put back so hopefully it won't get cancelled again. We've tried to get help from social services before, but they aren't even remotely interested. No, my eldest isn't getting help any more because when she moved to university she told her previous therapist she was all better & that was enough for them.

I'm feeling less delicate today, I am sorry for moaning before. I normally just try to get plodding on, just had a bit of a wobble.

I am glad you feel a bit better, and don't feel you're moaning. It is difficult when someone won't accept help, which it sounds like your eldest won't. I know eating disorders tend to have that complication sometimes.

When you go the psychiatrist I really hope you are able to spell out how bad things are, and to be insistent that you need help. Tell them that you have been virtually housebound for so long, but despite that have been waiting over a year. Tell them you really do not want to leave the appointment without some kind of plan as to what treatment you will have and an idea of when it will begin. I know it will be difficult, especially as you have to go out to get there. If it helps to write something down beforehand to give them, do that, or print out your original post. I also think writing a letter to services can help - if you spell out in a letter how much things are affecting you, and what help you think you need, then it is all on record and they have to respond with a letter which will also be on record. Good luck, and please do come and post here whenever you want and let us know how everyone is.

Sorry OP, you don't say anything about being virtually housebound - I just meant having difficulty re agoraphobia.