Experience of people with depression / breakdown? Please help

[BadLad]

I am having a terrible time with a relative after a breakdown and subsequent depression. Things seemed to be getting a lot better, but now they are back to square one. We are talking:

Going for days and days without having a shower or cleaning teeth.
Sleeping nearly every day away - getting up at 8pm, and then eating the only meal of the day. So not drinking or eating enough.
Cancelling their medical appointments or just not showing up, despite the persuasion of her husband. She only goes to about one in four.
Hardly ever leaving the house, even to go into the garden.
Lack of interest in anything at all.
Refusal to see any of her family.
Irrational worries, especially about running out of money.
Refusing to take her own medication.

Her husband shows up for her missed medical appointments, to explain to the doctors that she just won't come, but they are reluctant to discuss anything with him.

He does his absolute best, but he has no idea what to do. And neither do I. In particular, we are worried about the not attending appointments or taking medicine.

Any and all comments welcome. I am not in the UK, so it may be a few hours before I reply, but I will be checking regularly.

Thanks in advance for any help.

Any insight would be much appreciated.

What help is available for her husband, who is getting on a bit?

oh dear sorry to hear this, BadLad

you could contact the local city/ward office - the social services section for the elderly. Where I am, they have a consultation service for the elderly, which would be your best starting point.

Of course, if your relative is not willing to accept help, I am not sure how much use the city office/local home helper service will be

hope you can get some insight/help soon

Difficult for all involved I'm sure if things had been looking up why the turn around, had she stopped taking her meds cos she felt better? Obviously I don't know the ins and outs of the situation but wondered if the GP may visit her at home?

Had her GP referred her to the local community mental health services? They can do home visits - so maybe ask for that referral if she hasn't been already.

Another source of support would be the charity Mind they have centres in many towns.

Sorry - this is in UK, although thanks for remembering TanteRose.

To answer some points.

I really don't know why she started reducing the medicine, but she was surprised when she was told she had to take them for a year. Then she felt they made her hair fall out, and in truth she is a bit thinner on top. So she asked the psychiatrist to reduce them, and he reluctantly agreed. He actually went as far as to discharge her because he thought she was improving to the point that she didn't need to see him any more.

But now she won't go to the GP or to the therapist so the GP can't refer her back to the psychiatrist. Just says she can't be bothered, only feels safe in bed, and that she's going to die, so what's the point.

I am going there tomorrow, so I will investigate Min - thanks.

Min = Mind, the charity.

oh right! sorry

will zap my message about it not being in the UK, as that will only confuse the issue

as I said before, hope you can get some help

No worries - thank you for the concern.