Haven't posted here before.
Last Monday went to GP as on the Sunday just felt so awful, could not stop crying, really anxious. It had been building up I think over previous couple months, getting more low and anxious and depressed.
Managed a bit of sleep that Sunday night and rang GP last Monday morning and got appt. my usual gp on maternity leave but I just felt like needed to see someone asap so took gp with first free appt.
Went in, he asked how could help and I started to say how had anxiety and depession before and felt they were coming back and just burst into tears. He was very good and listened. Put me back on antidepressents used to be on and recommended I talk to someone. Public services here aren't great for things like cbt/counselling so have organised appt for that privately. Services are reasonably good if you are more severe/reached rock bottom which I have been through before.
Have been okayish last few years, sometimes stressed or sad but nothing major.
Before that have battled depression, eating disorder, ocd, self harm since was in late teens and am in early 30s now. Last time was pretty bad, I had suicidal thoughts a lot and came close to attempting but did not go through with it. Did bad self harm though which would prob be seen as suicide attempt/gesture.
So anyway back on ADs, had some side effects as expected like nausea a bit which is easing now more but I just feel so low and trying to pull myself up but struggling.
Nothing bad happened specifically. It is just like everything got on top of me. Like I am in that dark place again but not right deep in it like before.
I just feel rubbish. All I want to do is sleep.