I dont want to drip feed or bore you so Ill keep it brief and as succinct as I can!
I think I have mental health issues. That's sort of almost aside to this, what I need to do at the moment is get over something and I cant and I have it going crazy in my head ALL the time and its getting me so down today I couldnt get out of bed.
It was someone doing something that hurt me emotionally but they didnt/still wont show any remorse for me being hurt - the intention wasnt to hurt me but then surely thats even more reason to apologise?
It was six months ago but she was back in our home town this week so Ive been really on edge. Her sister is one of my best friends so we had a really good chat about it and though its her sister, she totally understands how I feel, as do the other friends Ive told about it.
She doesnt feel she has done anything wrong therefore wont apologise. Even if she did now, I wouldnt accept it because I wouldnt believe it.
So the problem? I cant stop thinking about it. I need to move on because its having an effect on my relationship as it involved my boyfriend so Im taking it out on him too, but though he did a couple of things I was upset about, I cant keep on about it forever. I got drunk last night which didnt help and gave him hell over an incident that was all that time ago. He didnt cheat on me by the way - oh bugger it Ill try and explain, she sent him some inappropriate messages - inappropriate in my (and all my friends) opinions, not in hers. They are old friends. He replied in depth to her (totally not inappropriately) and also checked on her before checking on me when I was devestated about it all.
I have since found out that he did have a "thing" for her when they were younger but nothing ever happened. She has been jealous of his last two relationships, inc me. She doesnt think anyone is good enough for him and also regrets not taking her chance when she had it (her sister told me those bits).
Ive tried googling negative thinking patterns etc but I am just stuck in the past.
She is no threat to me. I need to be able to move on.
Im really sensitive at the moment. Ive posted here rather than relationships as firstly I think this is to do with my head as opposed to the incident and secondly, I hope youll be kinder to me.
I will see a Dr at some point but to behonest this is the first time any thing like this has happened to me, I dont recognise myself. I felt my relationship being threatened and Ive exploded.
My relationship is wonderful and we are so happy and he has just moved in and we are very much in love. Why am I such a dick????