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cant enjoy life whats the point?!

10 replies

mouses · 02/08/2014 22:48

ive tried, really tried to think better, act happier, but thats all it is. AN ACT!!! ive never been happy, even as a child I was telling my mum my head don't feel right, preferred my own company, found it hard to be part of that big socialising world!
ive just spent yet another day sat in with the kids, they don't deserve this, yes I can go park, go picnic, go bug catching. but I CANT, cant get off my depressed arse and be a decent mum to them. my tolerance to their mess and noise is non- existent, im stressed, I cry lots.
ive seen gp, got counsellor and psychiatrist, on anti-depressants - 3rd type. just seem like im unfixable, like I was destined for this all my life!

sorry if im wallowing in self pity, I know im my own worst enemy, too hard on myself etc - but should be with the life I give my kids. I have no one and im really struggling to cope with everything. I keep telling he health care but all I get back is ''im a good mum, I beat myself up too much, here have some anti-d's....'' Sad

im only typing this cos some one with the this illness might just understand what im going through and not just tell me to lighten up on myself.
im at breaking point, im ready to exit earth right now. just don't feel part of it. ive tried so long, ive damaged so many people along the way.

OP posts:
bluebell345 · 02/08/2014 23:29

I think I understand you mouses.
When my child was about 2-3yo I felt the same, I am guessing yours are young too.
I felt so depressed, like you when others having fun I used to think why can't I?
When I look back now, what I should do, I think I should get some proper ad which could lift me up.
I know ad's are not easy to get used to, they have side effects, but sometimes I think they can help.
your counselling not helping, maybe your ad is not suitable either, maybe try another, speak to your gp, tell them how you feel.
I know it is very difficult.
do you have family nearby? or yr dc dad? maybe they can give you some respite and you can have some rest, me time, etc.
it is difficult but you will get there. just hold on to it.

Queenofknickers · 02/08/2014 23:38

I hear you mouses ThanksThanksThanks .you might not believe it now but the best thing you can do for your children is stay on this earth. Have you got a crisis team number or even Samaritans? I've been where you are - there is hope please believe me x

mouses · 03/08/2014 00:01

mine are 12, 9 and 4. one is very sensitive and cries a lot the other is angry a lot, dd is ok I think? its what they get from me. rubbing off I suppose? I have the schools support worker meeting in sept, god knows what to expect them to think!
everyday I fight with myself not to give them up, to have a better life elsewhere and cry myself to sleep that I have another 24hrs to get through with them in the morning.
honestly the ads are like taking smarties, I took fluoxetine for yrs pleading with the gp to change them.
last time I went back to my gp he told me to go sit in a cancer ward and think myself lucky!
counsellor says words that don't mean nothing, don't change my minds thoughts. though she means well, its not working.
I don't have family. ds's dad has them fortnightly, only during the day both sat /sun as he's in a house share. so no over night stays. dd dad does his own thing, doesn't often have her but when he does I just sit at home crying cos I have no where to go, no one to visit and nothing to do. I have no hobbies or enjoy anything. the only reason why I am here is not to mess up the kids heads! but inside im dead.

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mouses · 03/08/2014 00:06

queen I don't have crisis team, everytime I go to see psych im given another label, last time I was told I wasn't depressed! been told im emotionally unstable!
they don't believe me how bad I am, ive tried tellin my counsellor she just says im to harsh on myself. how can I ever get better if the people who make me better don't work Sad

OP posts:
bluebell345 · 03/08/2014 08:09

mouses, I used to cry a lot, too.
can you change gp, is there another one who could understand you better?
it is hard to find someone to listen and understand you when you need. you can offload here.
I wish you had a good, supporting family. your children still young.
but you will get there. best wishes.

bluebell345 · 03/08/2014 08:12

I forgot to add, can you contact 'mind' in your area?

unweavedrainbow · 03/08/2014 08:29

Just a suggestion, have you been offered mood stabilisers rather than ADs? If you've been given a diagnosis of Emotionally Unstable PD (also known as BPD) then mood stabilisers are often helpful. It might also be worth pursuing DBT if it's available in your area. DBT is a special course of therapy for those who are Emotionally Unstable or who struggle to click with normal CBT/counselling.

mouses · 03/08/2014 09:18

blue my original gp left so this gp is a new one, tho he's been here years ive always opted for th female gp. he switches between my 2 local surgeries? think hes based at one ad comes to my surgery??
my psychiatrist appointments are in my local mind centre. in sept when dd goes full time school they would like me to go to the morning group?

rainbow I was given quetiapine for mood stabilising, one pill made me really ill. was too scared to take it again, I took one the other night when I was scared for myself doing something stupid so took it to zonk me out. which it did but then next day I couldn't move to attend to the dsc's which what happened last time.
I told pysch first time I saw him that I thought it was BPD he dismissed it. where do I go to request DBT what is it?

OP posts:
unweavedrainbow · 03/08/2014 10:00

www.mind.org.uk/information-support/drugs-and-treatments/dialectical-behaviour-therapy/#.U934cIBdVe4

Being called "emotionally unstable" and BPD are pretty much the same thing. It was unfair for the psych to dismiss you. Could you request a second opinion? Do you have a CPN? What dose of quetiapine? You do have to have it regularly for it to work and the side effects at the beginning can be scary, but I understand, especially if you have kids, that that isn't always possible. There are others you can try. Sodium Valproate , which i take, is good or Risperidole. Maybe even Lithium. I've linked to some info about DBT above. It sounds like you could really benefit unmumsnetty hugs Smile

mouses · 03/08/2014 12:42

this is 2nd psych, the other one stopped seeing me all of a sudden. whats a CPN?
50mg of quetiapine but id only taken one of 2, suppose to be twice a day but the one knocked me out so never took two. im willing to try any pill but if I cant function the kids cant fend for themselves. Sad
pysch said he is reviewing other options, next appointment will be in sept.
thanks for link, I will have a look.

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