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Today, 4 years ago, was the last time I saw my mum alive

3 replies

Littlegiraffe · 02/08/2014 14:58

And it was an awful day. Trying to stop her leaving the house as she wanted to end it, calls to family nhs 24, crisis team, taking her to A&E. Being fobbed off by doctors.

Then on 4th august she did it.
And I have never been the same since.
I wonder if I'll ever be the same. Developed anxiety 1.5years later but it took a while to recognise it for what it was. Saw a counsellor. It was helpful to offload to a stranger about all the feelings I had been bottling up.

I went to me GP last week to ask for a referral for CBT as in fixated with the fear that it's maybe in my destiny to do the same thing. I hear trigger words every day which set off a chain of events in my head. No one would know, as I'll appear to be listening to a conversation but in actual fact, I'm reliving how things unfolded on the day it happened, wondering how I would do it, raging inwardly wondering how people who know why happened can say such insensitive things in my company etc.

The rage is ridiculous. My DH gets the brunt of it. I fly off the handle at the smallest thing, my heart rate speeds up a lot and I feel like I could explode at anytime.

I am exhausted. Sometimes I just want to go away and hide. But with an 18year old and a 2year old, that's not an option. It wouldn't be an option anyway. I need to appear strong for the rest of the family, but I'm crumbling inside.

Not really sure why I'm posting tbh. Just had another argument with DH and I said some hurtful stuff. I said sorry but I can't go on like this. I have become a shadow of my former happy confident self, and feel angry, bitter, resentful and sad most of the time.

I have contacted a private psychotherapist as I don't know if I can wait for the NHS appointment. Has anyone been in a similar position, and come out the other side?

I know I need help, I'm just not sure exactly what help I need. Hmm

OP posts:
NK346f2849X127d8bca260 · 02/08/2014 16:00

I am so sorry for what you are going through.
You really need to go back to the doctor to see if a CBT appointment can be pushed a bit faster. Have you got anyone you can speak to in RL?

My husband threatened suicide before Christmas and was admitted to psychiatric ward. Although he never went through with it, I worry that one day he will.

Please pm me if you want to talk , but please go back to your doctor this week

Littlegiraffe · 02/08/2014 16:33

Sorry to hear that NK. My mum had 2 stays in a psych ward. I hope your DH is in a better state of mind now. It's so hard for the immediate family isn't it?
I really don't think I'm at risk of doing anything to myself, but it terrifies me that these thoughts are in my head so much. It's almost as if I'm torturing myself with it. You see things in the news or on the internet about the fact there could be a genetic link, and I'm sort of fixated on that too. It's not like I want to do it, or have urges to do it, but I'm scared that I'm already on that path and I may not even know it. If you know what mean. I'm sure when my mum was in her 30s, she had no idea that this was how her life would end. It's hard to explain.

I definitely need help though as it is so unhealthy to be thinking like this. It's all the time. And I am angry. And feel guilty. And wonder if in deliberately torturing myself as I feel I deserve to suffer.

I'm just not myself anymore. And I really want to be again.

OP posts:
Littlegiraffe · 02/08/2014 21:19

Shameless bump incase anyone else has any advice/experience.

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