PND advise please.....

[NessaWH123]

Hi just looking for some support and advise please. I had a very difficult pregnancy suffering from a rare conditin called vasa praviea which meant i had to stay in hospital for the final 6 weeks of my pregnancy before having an early planned C section at 36 weeks to try and ensure the healthy arrival of my baby. Luckily it went well and my son was fine when he was born but then i tried to breast feed with little success and my son cried and never slept well for nearly 9 months. By this time i was very low as i had no family to support me and was exhausted. I went to the docs who told me i had post nantal anxiety as i dis and still wind myself up and worry when my son will cry and kick off next. I am back at work now so this has helped but i still feel i am useless and am not a god mother. Mostly becasue he has a bad temper and then i get really wound up. I know this wont help and try and calm myself but i often feel like i have butterflies in my stomach. I dread picking him up fromm the childminder as i know he might start creating again..he is 16 months now. My husband wants another child but i think with how i feel things could get worse and i dont know if i could manage another baby. I have found the expereince a chore and am always so anxious. Because he now tantrums in public i feel even more of a faliure and panic i dont know what to do...

Have you had any treatment for your PND? You could take something like citalopram which could help enormously.

I'd definitely hold off having another baby yet. You need time to get better from this stress not add to it.

I experienced what you describe. It's tough. It sounds really silly (I remember telling this on another forum and people reacting as if I was mad) but my way through it was to make a deal with myself that I'd aim to make my baby laugh four times a day and if we were having a really bad day at least once in that day.

It sounds demented, and it did involve pulling lots of stupid faces and singing daft songs and pretending to get things wrong like a clown. It was exhausting. But it created a bond between us when there was a pretty weak bond otherwise, and it reminded me that we could have good times together. Now I can look back on the early years which were really tough and remember the silly and fun stuff.

What I didn't do until much later and would have done far earlier if I'd not been so hyper with PND was to make life very easy for us both. Get home and watch Cbeebies or a DVD every day for a couple of hours. Eat ready made food or really easy food.

thanks so much for your response chinamoon. sorry i didint respond earlier i have been on holiday. He has tantrumed all holiday so glad to be home and his behaviour has knocked my mood back again. I did take citalopram for about 6 months but didnt want to stay on tablets and i didnt feel any differnt from it. Its reassuring to hear someone elses story. I will take your advice and try and make life easier ...i do tend to try and battle on not slow down, in the hope to keep my little boy happy. How long did it last for you if you dont mind me asking? Did you have a little one that was quite high maintence?x