Your thoughts would be appreciated …
I had my first counselling session last week and the second is due tomorrow. I found the counsellor almost icy cold. No greeting, just a barrage of questions to start with were very similar to those on the questionnaire that I had been sent to fill in before the session. She briefly spoke about confidentiality and what she would/could/wouldn’t pass on to my GP who referred me to the overarching service (triage then recommended counselling as opposed to any other therapy).
I have two concerns. One is that she really does seem to be a cold fish – no smiles, no obvious warmth. At one point she seemed to criticise me for not opening up more – I’d barely sat down and didn’t know what to expect. I understand that counsellors are as varied as anyone else but really she was icy – talking freely would be difficult.
The other concern is that if I talk, as she was wanting me to (I inferred that there were some issues ..), about the dysfunctional and unhappy schooling I had, about my estranged and very cruel brother, about my first, abusive marriage and about my eldest DS’s MH problems … would this remain confidential? I’ve parked most of this, especially as I have a happy home life now (though ongoing older DS problems). I feel quite strongly that whilst the situation that brought to my GP in the first place which is a bullying culture at work (it’s hell) occasionally triggers bad memories, I don’t need to delve into the past unless, rather obviously, I can trust the person I’m talking to to keep it confidential. I would hate any of this to form part of her regular summary to my GP and therefore to get into my records.
Perhaps it is important to acknowledge the past, to talk about it, to try to deal with it (I understand that) but I’m concerned about confidentiality and about the counsellor’s approach. Maybe I need to ask her for clarification about the confidentiality issue? Maybe I need to go to this second appointment and see what happens? I went in the hopes that I’d be empowered to cope with the situation at work and wasn’t expecting to re-visit such painful and dark episodes. Though I would do, if that was useful and even necessary, if I felt a lot more reassured than I do now.
Sorry about the ramble – any thoughts, experiences – all gratefully received.