worried a friend might have postnatal depression?

[Jenjen85]

Had posted this in parenting but think it might be best posting in this topic.

Not sure what to do really? Me and my friend went through our pregnancies together and had our babies within 2 days of each other last July. Since about Oct/Nov (possibly later I cant quite remember) last year she has gone rather quiet with me, she hardly texts and we don't see each other anymore either. We used to text at least once a day but I haven't had a proper conversation in ages(I know our lives change one babys arrive but this is unusual for her as shes usually the loud one in our group of friends) . She has gone so thin I hardly recognised her the last time I saw her (she reckons she's been doing weight watchers and has lost 5st since she had her DS) she did have pneumonia in March this year so that would have contributed to some weightloss but I think 5st is excessive (im not obsessed with my weight but im back to what I weighed before my DD, I think shes had an eating dissorder in the past and shes VERY body conscious) anyway sorry im digressing/waffling on. So I had a party last week for my DDs 1st birthday and invited her, she came with her son and husband but we barely spoke, she was very negative towards her son eg telling him to shut up and stop whingeing and practically threw him at one of my friends. All my friends have commented saying shes not herself and if she has postnatal depression. She has admitted to a friend that having her son is hard work (he does have reflux) and its not as easy as she thought it would be. To top it off this week she had an accident with her car (not sure on full details as she only txt back saying she was cut and bruised) but from what I can gather she claims the handbrake failed on the car and dragged her down the path into the house so it has to be fixed (although from what I could see of the house it looked fine car was bashed though) she put it on facebook but never answered anyone when they asked what happened (hate attention seekers) but im wondering if she didn't put the handbrake on properly as they don't just go (do they?)

Anyhow sorry for the massive post and if you've read this far well done!! But im wondering what I should do? I know if I spoke to her she wouldn't admit it, should I mention it to a health visitor or maybe speak to her husband? Any help would be appreciated

Hi,

You sound like a lovely friend. I wish I had more friends like you around.

I think you should speak to her before talking to her HV. Does she have family to support her? Does she get a break from refluxy baby? Talk to her and tell her your there for her for when shes ready.

How well do you know the husband? If you're pretty sure your friend will react negatively if you speak to her then maybe it's best to approach him.

I know her husband relatively well so would be easy to talk to him. My friend would never admit she was struggling as thats not in her to do, she quite strong willed and would hide it. She has had a couple of breaks from reflux baby as she has been to see her friend (minus baby) and they always go out to the pub of a weekend but with baby. Im just worried that she won't want anything to do with me if I speak to him as im worried she will think im sticking my nose in?