I'm having a problem with transference

[CecyHall]

But with a therapist I haven't seen for 3 years.

How can I work through it myself? I know that logically my feelings are based on things that aren't actually as they are.

I stopped seeing him partly due to this issue but also due to other things, I'd had a break in therapy to have a baby and it was all too much to cope with on top of sleepless nights, hormone changes etc when I went back but now I'm stuck with no way to switch it off.

I need to stop thinking he is so great as that's not real life if you know what I mean, it eats away at me sometimes that I want to see him socially and stuff.

Probably should have name changed but I just need to get it gone but can't tell anyone in real life.

It is hard isn't it as they time they are paid to see you they give you total attention, concern for well being, congruence. And often help! They reveal little of themselves so we do not see their errors and they are in our lives at a difficult time.

A therapist once said to me that she had x amount of clients but once they are not clients she has to be able to forget them and move on, as that is all they are to her. A way to pay the bills. And they are human and divorce, have bad moods etc - just we do not pay to see that. Not saying it is like that for all people but it is a job to them and not a friendship and they are trained in moving on.

No counsellor is allowed to meet a patient socially. Nor would they want to in reality - unpaid overtime?!!