So I finally went to the GP….

[theladybirdheard]

and luckily she didn't laugh me out of the room. Said I wasn't depressed but was probably suffering from anxiety, prescribed beta blockers and is referring me to an anxiety group. Am due back there again in 3 weeks
I felt much better for a day
Now I feel awful again. I think I hoped the beta blockers would take away my permanently stressed feeling, and help me calm down. Today I feel absolutely awful - job interview to come, worry about getting stuff done this week, buying presents for teachers before end of term and conscious I'm a crap mum because when I take DCs to the playground I can't make it enjoyable for them because I am always worrying.
What do I do?

Well done on going to the gp. Admitting that you have a problem and seeking help is a big step forward. You have a lot of things on your plate and it's not unusual to feel stressed. You can try the following:

• For the job interview, do everything you possibly can to prepare. Research the company. Think of answers you would give to common questions. Ask a friend to help you rehearse.
• Make a list of all the things you need to do this week, decide which ones are most important and tackle them one by one.
• When you take DC's to the playground, what are you worrying about? Are you scared they might get hurt? How old are they?
• Try to get some exercise. All you need to do is go out of your front door, walk 7.5 minutes then turn around and walk back. You've just done 15 minutes of exercise and your family probably haven't even missed you.
• Try to grab a few minutes here and there during the day to just concentrate on breathing. Try to shut out everything else.

You are not a crap mum. You're a mum who is doing the best you can in the face of having an illness that makes things very hard for you.