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Mental health

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Just after some advice....

2 replies

Boogles91 · 14/07/2014 12:13

I gave birth to our beautiful little boy last sunday. Me and hubby both so overwhelmed and happy as we had been trying for a while and finally have what we wanted. Im ok now i have gotten iver the shock lol but my hubby has got pnd now :( he would NEVER hurt his son he loves him too much, but just cant stand being around him and feels the bond isnt there. He does make the effort, just not as much as he would like to and this makes him feel worse! He has always suffered bad anxiety and we both thought this would help him with it but it seems to have turned the other way :/ years ago he was really hurt bad by an ex, she treat him like shite. He bought up her 4week old son for two years as his own. She cheated on him endless amount of times, and even aborted his child at 5months and then pretened she "lost" the baby. And after all that he. Found out it wasnt even his in the end. Shes also had him arrested for harrasment a few times in which they found out who the real culprit was -.-

I know he is over her but when he had to tell her enough was enough, it took everything he had to let go of the little boy she had. I think now he has his own little boy and a wife who worships the ground he walks on. Its all too much and has come out in him. Im so scared of loosing him :'(

Today he went to his docs for the right help, his doctor is away for. Two weeks and he saw a replacement.....he just told him that he needs to get a job as he spends too much time at home dwelling on things and to stay away from his son!!! I am so effing peed off with the nhs of today! Is there not any trained docs out there anymore that recognise mental health when they see it! I have suffered for years with mine, and my doc told me to basicaly get a job or go to college(i have M.E, he didnt bileave me) and you know where i ended up after taking his advice? In a hospital bed after nearly successful attempt of suicide! I just felt like i couldnt cope with life itself anymore as id got to that point, noone was willing to help me except my dearest parents, but there was only so much they could do! I soon git the help afterwards and i am the person i once was before i got into that state of mind. i know exactly how my poor hubby feels if only i could just wave a magic wand and take it away :'( im going to register him at my docs as i now have a different one and she is so understanding and lovely. But first im going to make a complaint, a serious one! To his docs....i guess im just asking is there anything i should be looking out for? And am i doing the right things, im coping well doing almost everything every day and night with baby and trying my best to help hubby, hes not eaten properly in days and cant stop being sick :( as ive said he would never hurt baby, im just scared hes going to hurt himself! My parents are only a phonecallso im not on my own, but i just need some advice as its very different being in the other side caring for someone with depression and anxiety and although i have my experiences to help me care for him theres just some things i need advice on ;/ thanks in advance for reading...

OP posts:
Reallystrugglinginside · 14/07/2014 12:50

Hi,

Congratulations on the birth of your little boy!

I'm afraid I won't be of much use right but I will try. Have you registered with your local childrens centre? They have access to mental health support, for both parents. They have support workers who can come out and visit you all at your home and offer support in a variety of different ways.

I hope things look up for you all soon. Do you have family or friends who could support you both?

SilverStars · 14/07/2014 17:43

Hi, can you talk to your HV for advice for you all?

Who diagnosed your dh's pnd? If so could he talk to the dr who gave the medical diagnosis and ask them for appropriate help? Are the issues from the past like you referred to or does he have male pnd as that will make a difference to treatment options.

Worth seeing another dr.

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