Sigh

[Emskilou]

I dont know why and it is annoying me but I feel very very low, I'm getting the stupid fluttering in my chest, feeling a bit scared of what the future holds for me and my dc's, doubting myself as a mother and generally feeling shit and almost want to cry, I apologise if my swearing offends anyone. I haven't felt like this in a while, I'm usually good at 'snapping' myself out of it, but each time I get like this it is getting harder and harder to do. I know this is highly boring but just needed to do something to get it off my chest, sorry

Don't apologise. I think all of us here know how you feel and sometimes it is easier to write down our feelings than say them out loud. Sorry you are feeling like this. Sending you (((((hugs)))))

Awww thank you

Oohhh ffs I am sat here in tears now for no reason and my head is full of doubt about how good a mum I am. WTF is all this about?

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Long story, I have suffered with depression for years on and off, and after dd was born I got severe pnd, and when I was 3 months pg with ds (dd was 8 months old) my h left me, well dropped me off at my grand mothers and never came back, I was potless, pennyless and homeles so that kinda contributed I guess. I went to cbt and got 'better' I was, well I thought I was doing well, but for the last month or so its all comng abck and I hate it, I'm getting the scary thoughts again and the anxiety and I hate it. (I have posted about this before but I have had a few differnt names and I am not a trol or whatever it is)

BTW my names were funnyyummymummy (then I realised I sounded like I was up my own arse) BrookeandTaylorsmummy, nineinchnippples and now emskilou

I think that more people than you think feel like this but don't seem to talk about it. I recognise the feelings that you are having as I can feel like this sometimes too. I'm sure you are a good mum its just that sometimes the tiredness and responsibility seem overwhelming, especially if you are doing it on your own. I'm sure that to your children you are the best mum in the world and that you are really doing a good job. xxxxxx

Oh i will join you i get like this all the time but i do have PND, i will come back & write a longer post because i am waiting for my Health Visitor at the moment

she is late ......

I am a little better today, had a good cry last night in bed to the early hours of the morning and made a decision to go to the drs tomorrow, not sure what the outcome will be but I am determined not to allow myself to get as low as I was before, that is too scary a thought to face. Does anyone know if there are there any ads that are safe to take when bf??

Glad to hear you are feeling a little better today and well done for deciding to see your doctor. Sorry don't know about ad's whilst bf. I'm on citalopram but don't know whether you can take it whilst bf. Hope that your days keep getting better. xxx

Thank you, I am a bit dissappointed in myself for getting low again, but at least there is help avaiable and mn of course , thank you all so much xx

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Youre right I know, just kinda p'eed off with it all and getting nervous about seeing the dr tomorrow, but it'll be fine I'm sure, I hope so anyway.

Hi. Just to let you know I am thinking of you. Hope you get on ok at the doctors. Good Luck.

Thank you, thats so nice of you, I went this morning and thught I'd be ok in there, I was for a little while then completely broke down, felt like a complete fool. I got prescribed ads and referred for counselling, so hopefully things will start to look brighter in the future and I can start to write happier posts again, I hate feeling like this. Thank you again x

Well done for going Emskilou and definitely don't feel a fool for breaking down. Hope the AD's kick in soon. x

Thank you, I am a little worried now about the effect on ds as I am still bf, I have been prescribed paroxetine, does anyone know if that is ok?