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anxiety, panic attacks, cant stop crying

4 replies

dobbysmum · 01/07/2014 22:17

I had my baby just under 4 weeks ago via emergency section as I had preeclamsia, its been a very stressful time as he's in hospital being cared for in the neonatal unit. He seems to be healthly, the only problem is he is struggling to bottle feed, and until he cracks that hes not coming home. At the moment he's on a pattern of 2 bottles then a tube. If he doesn't finish his bottle in half an hour then they put the rest down his tube.
He usually takes his bottle from the nurses but not from me, which I'm finding very hard.

Before I had him I suffered terribly with panic attacks to the point I couldn't leave the house without anxiety, then last year I started medication and got better, then when I fell pregnant in November I had to reduce my medication dose and the ponic attacks got worse again. I've moved back up a dose last week but so far I don't feel better.

I'm having to catch the bus on my own to the hospital which is causing a lot of panic, then go to the hospital to take care of baby, its so far out of my comfort zone that I'm in tears before I get on the bus.

I'd spoken to another mum about my anxieties and explained why I hadn't been up a lot on my own during the day, and mainly waited to come up in the evening with my husband, but she told another nurse and I got told that I had to put my own feelings aside and take care of my son as I hadn't been looking after him enough.

This naturally upset me and I cried while trying to tell the nurse what had been going on, this was last night.
Well today I was going to the hospital for 8am, I've been awake since 3am having constant panic attacks about the bus and being at the hospital, and Joshua not taking his bottle from me, I've spent most of the day atvthe hospital having panic attacks and crying, the nurse looking after Joshua told me to go to the toilet because I was in floods of tears and the other parents and staff were looking at me, adding to me feeling self conscious!

I just don't know how to stop crying, every time it comes to feeding time I dread it, it looks like he's sucking but when I check the bottle there's no milk gone out of it, or very little, and then I cry again.
I don't want to come across as unstable or like I can't cope, one of the nurses yesterday told me to go to the postnatal ward for advice but my husband won't let me in case they won't let Joshua come home with us because I'm coming across like I can't look after him.
He's told me to go back tomorrow, not be neggative and put a bravee face on but I'm just so exhausted and over emotional I don't know how to stop crying.

I don't know if I have post natal depression, or I'm just over tired and anxious generally, but I feel like I can't get help.

OP posts:
SilverStars · 01/07/2014 22:29

Can you talk to your midwife/health visitor or gp - which ever is easiest to see? Only a dr can prescribe anything and they have in the past so why not see your gp? There are specialist midwives you can see to go through the labour and there are specialist nurses that can help if you have PND but you need to be referred usually for that support. Your medical team will know - please ask.

Practically is there anyone that can drop you off at the hospital in the morning? D you drive at all? If you did not have to use buses would you be feeling calmer? A baby in hospital must be a scary thing, sometime hearing someone say that can help normalise things. Hope you can reach out.

MagpieMama · 01/07/2014 22:42

Oh you poor thing Sad
I really struggled when DS was in NICU. It's a weird mix of someone else taking over your baby's care but still being expected to know exactly what you're doing.
It was a kindly NICU nurse that saved my sanity by showing me what to do but letting me take the lead. Some of the nurses were rubbish though, I felt I was doing everything wrong and they were just rushing and judging me.
Have you got a psychiatrist or named care coordinator that you could speak to?
There should also be a mental health midwife available to support you? Or even your HV?
It's important that you feel well enough to care for your baby, don't let anyone including your DH tell you otherwise. Thanks

dobbysmum · 02/07/2014 10:47

Thank you for your replies. I woke up this morning sick and having panic attacks again, so my husband came with me to the hospital on the bus again and stayed a few minutes before he had to catch another bus to work.
I've had some great news though. They have put us in a family room which means we will now "live" at the hospital with Joshua in our room so we can take care of him here until he's ready to come home :-)
I'm so excited and happy, we can just be a family now and work on his feeds together.
Im seeing my doctor in a couple of weeks so if I still feel anxious then I'll speak to him but I'm hoping that will fade now I can have my loved ones with me

OP posts:
MagpieMama · 02/07/2014 11:07

That's fantastic news Smile Hope you enjoy being a family and get some good ongoing support.

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