I'm at crisis

[runlikeagirl]

This might not make sense. Basic background- I have bipolar. I take lithium and venlafaxine. I’ve not been feeling great for a while. Relationship with dh not great, lots of bickering etc. I work 3 days a week as a teacher. I have 2 children- 4.10 and 23months. I feel like work is all on top of me because I am always so tired I can’t concentrate and can’t do everything I need to . The house is always a tip. And not a tidy person’s tip. Like proper mess. I feel like all I do is tidy.
We always struggle for money. Part of it is historic as I got into loads of debt before I met husband and allow it is paid off now, it had implications for our mortgage etc.

This morning we got a notification that we were being charged for overdraft. Not surprising really as we’ve had an expensive month but it tipped me over edge. I started shouting and screaming at dh (because really I know that it is my fault for spending too much) and the kids. I yelled at my kids.
I can’t control my emotions, one minute I am crying the next I am shouting. It is all too much.

I haven’t taken my tablets because I left them at my parents for weekend. If I go to GP I will get the naughty little girl speech from the doctor and we have no money for extra prescription.

You must get some meds as a matter of urgency. Not taking them will make things worse. I've had that telling off from doctors about tablets before now and I know it's not nice, but it might not happen when they see the state you're in. If it does, try to shrug it off (easier said than done I know) as part of getting back on track. Or how far away are your parents?

I know it's horrible getting even more overdrawn but in the scheme of things, it's sixteen pounds more on something absolutely vital. Have you phoned the bank or gone online to arrange a planned overdraft? That will at least keep the charges to a minimum.

I know it's probably very hard to take time off as a teacher, but could you self-certificate for a few days and have a rest and have a go at the house? My house is not tidy by a long chalk, but if it gets really bad, it affects my mood badly. You need to be kind to yourself. I hope you feel easier soon. Get those meds!

Hi is it cheaper to buy a quarterly or yearly prescription - that is what I do as x items a month are more expensive than paying annually for me. Can you have a bank account with free agreed overdraft - I have just moved to a Nationwide account with 5% interest and free agreed overdraft so no charges.

Hope end of term is help for you.

I can't take any time off as I am review for absence. Not had masses of time off, but various physical illnesses meaning lots of odd days off.

I'm going to beg prescription at lunch time. I should get a prepay prescription but I never get it sorted.

I feel like such a failure.

OK moving banks as my credit rating is so awful.

Early mornings are because dd gets up at 5am. Tiredness doesn't help.

Well done for planning to get the prescription. You are not a failure! and and for you.