I don't feel well in my mind

[HappyLandSpaceMan]

I have depression and anxiety and very recently have left a relationship which was abusive.

I am really struggling at the moment. One minute I'm panicking, the next I'm cleaning manically, the next I am crying in bed- this cycle can happen 4 times in an hour, it's exhausting me.

All through this I can't make sense of how I feel about anything, my mind is all over the place and I am feeling like I need lots of attention from people- it's horrible, I don't want to be needy.

I want to self harm, I am trying to look after my DC but after they are in bed I am at a loose end, I am staying with my sister but she has gone to see her friend, so I am just alone, and I don't understand how I feel.

I don't even know if this post makes sense. I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm even asking, but it hurts and I'm panicky.

Sorry I don't know if I can say anything constructive as I'm feeling the same atm. One min I'm singing with dd, the next planning my way out of life. Crying then cleaning, and feeling really agitated. I've just mentioned it to my mh support worker. I'm on ads but she going to make an appt with my psychiatrist to talk about maybe going onto mood stabilisers. Might be worth talking to someone about? A GP or cmht if you're under one?

can you have a bath? tht might help you to relax. Are you on any medication for the anxiety?

I am on sertraline 150mg but no anxiety specific meds my gp was so good but I can't go back to my area i am too scared I am so scared of everything and I just want to get out, thank you for the replies

I have cut and I am so angry at myself

Hi Happy Land - I think after what you've been through it's normal to be feeling as you are.

You could try speaking to women's aid again and seeing if they have any recommended counsellors, or if they could put you in touch with somebody.

You've just come out of a very bad situation, and you mind is probably trying to establish that it is safe, and beginning to process what has been happening to you.

Until you can speak to a professional about it (and you really need to do that soon), try and vent your frustration in a more positive way. It might sound stupid, but even something like whacking on a youtube yoga video and forcing yourself to do the whole thing - or a ten minute really intense exercise video to work off some frustration. If you need to break down crying whilst doing the jumping jacks, then that's okay, but keep going anyway.

Or try going onto duo lingo and messing around with learning a few words in a different language. You just need something to keep you and your mind active for the moment.

Good luck.