looking for some advice re phobias and work

[mrsmalapropshandbag]

I've name changed for this as I don't want this to be linked to my 'normal' profile. I have a question regarding work & a mental health issue that I would really like some perspective on. I apologise if this ends up a bit long but I don't want to drip feed & miss out relevant info.

I've had some depression issues in the past which I've always been open about & in the last year I've been through a very traumatic time which I have also been completely open about (I didn't have much option, it wasn't something I could hide away). The trauma has made me very fragile at times but I have not relapsed into my depressive state & generally I think I've been doing ok.

I also have a long standing phobia of telephones. I've always had this & I've usually managed to cope OK in the work place by making/taking the phone calls I absolutely had to but avoiding wherever I could. Since the 'event' I've found this phobia more difficult to control and I have been avoiding all calls completely. My employer has expressed a concern with this & asked me to look at getting 'treatment'. I agreed to this without any hesitation. I totally accept that my phobia impacts on my ability to do my job role and it needs resolving. I have done a lot of research on line, have read a lot of 'self help' info and I have been trying to use the techniques to improve things. I have been taking and making calls - I've been aiming for at least one phone call every day & I was really proud of the progress I had made.

My manager asked for an update (after about 3 weeks) so I said that I was addressing it, that I was taking and making a phone call everyday & whilst the thought of talking to 'important people' made me freak I felt I was making real progress. Their response (paraphrased) was that whilst they were impressed with the progress I had made I obviously needed professional help & I should make arrangements to see someone.

This has completely thrown me. I was happy with my progress now my confidence has gone. I don't want to 'see' someone (I really don't think it would help I would rather process things on my own) but I don't know if my employer can insist on this. My gut feeling is they can't make me, as long as I continue to use the phone but I would like to know what others think before I talk to my manager about this. I'm really feeling stupidly paranoid, it's making me doubt my ability to be honest with them.

Thanks for reading if you've got this far

For me an aversion to using the phone is a sign that a depressive episode is looming. Do you need to use the phone in order to do your work effectively? I doubt if your employer can force you to see someone, however in a worst case scenario they could discipline you for behaving in a way that is detrimental to your job and the company. I'm not in the UK but I get the feeling it can take a very long time to get to the top of the list for therapy so why don't you see your gp and get the ball rolling. Then you can continue doing what you're doing and working through it on your own. If by the time you can see someone you feel you no longer need it then you simply cancel. Otherwise I suggest you go and get some help, it's nothing to be ashamed of.

Can you ask your employer to refer you to Occupational Health? They may be able to support you and let your employer know what you can and can't do. Or ask your employer to fund the support needed - as NHS lists can be very long - so if it was a 6mth wait would they be happy that you could not progress in the way they are asking ( seeing someone!) because of the queues. It may be if you ask them to fund it they may stop hassling you???