I have scizoaffective ( which is all the symptoms of bipolar 1 and episodes of scizophrenia). Right now I am recovering from a year long psychotic episode and before that a six month mania. I am doing brilliantly in my recovery slowly taking on more of my normal chores. I am being careful not to do to much too soon so I don't relapse. But all in all I am doing great.
However I am absolutely petrified of the next episode. I can't stop worrying. I find it hard not knowing if it's going to happen next week next month next year. I am doing all I can to reduce the likelihood of another episode eg taking meds, regular sleeping pattern, not drinking.
I have come back from my episode and everything has gone to hell. Social services are involved as I wasn't cleaning (have now had my house deemed acceptable but they are going to stay involved for a while) have missed loads of appointments and need to chase them up (have 3 dc with sn so lots of medical appointments). Have a lot of marital problems. Have gotten myself into debt. My DS behaviour has deteriorated because when I'll I often didn't have the strength to argue with him so let things slide.
I am just so scared another episode will happen before I have a chance to fix things. Also things are in such a mess I don't know where to start. I have so much to do and in my weakened state it's overwhelming.
Any advice or thoughts about being scared of the next episode?
Or how to put things right?