Went to see a private gp this morning (long story, but I don't have an nhs gp, I have never had one, prefer to see private ones).
I went to ask for a to depressants as I can't take feeling this bad all the time. I am 34 years old and I have been depressed for as long as I can remember, even as a child.
Again I've been given a list of councilor and told to exercise more. They wouldn't prescribe me anything. But he did say to come back in three months if things hadn't changed. I've been depressed my whole life for chemists sake, the gym won't sort this out.
I had a spell on anti depressants when I was 18. They helped a bit.
Since then, nothing. I went to a dr fiber years ago to ask for help. I was told to go to see a councillor. I did, it didn't help. She was like a dog with a bone when I told her my mother died when I was 12. She was obsessed with the idea that that was the route oft problems and if I didn't admit it, I'd never feel better.
Except, that isn't the reason. I was depressed as a child, long before my mum died. And tbh, it's a long story, but her death didn't effect me that much. I know that sounds unbelievable, bit it didn't. Life goes on. (I have found drs are always harping back to that. I de registered from nhs gap after I had horrendous headaches as a teen. The dr said they were a symptom of delayed grief. It turned put to be a, thankfully harmless, growth in my sinus).
Two years ago I saw another dr who told to have a clean diet, exercise to make endorphins. I do eat well and I already walk 5 miles per day.
Anyway, I now in an even worse place in my life. I am in a bad marriage but I can't see the wood for the trees due to the way I feel.
I want anti depressants.