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Mental health

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cant keep up with myself

10 replies

mouses · 21/06/2014 21:57

had enough of existing one day to the next not knowing how im gonna be.
wish I could take every pill in the cupboard and escape the entrapment of depression, anxiety and what else labelled on me.

but I cant cos I cant leave the kids, I resent them cos know im stuck here slaved to depression trying all these stupid pills to make me act normal and function right.

cant handle it, im so angry yet im crying in despair! don't know what to do with myself, thinking of what I can use to punish myself for being me but don't want the kids seeing me hurt or bleeding, scared I might hurt myself and end up in hospital. no one to have the kids. all these thoughts I cant think straight.

feel like screaming, feel broken. don't know what I done to deserve this

OP posts:
ppplease · 21/06/2014 22:01

Hi mouses. I havent read all of your posts on here so I dont know your backstory. But thought I would just reply. Have to say that I will have to go to bed soon though.

mouses · 21/06/2014 22:15

hi,
sorry thought it might help to get it out, feeling all over the place, my anger is so bad I scared i will offend someone, hate that im aware of things but cant control it!

OP posts:
ppplease · 21/06/2014 22:16

You keep venting! It helps to vent sometimes.

twentyten · 21/06/2014 22:18

Write down how you feel. Lots of listeners. Take care

mouses · 21/06/2014 22:20

dont think I even make sense half the time.

every day is the same. I say I will try harder, that I will stop doing bad habits, spend more time with the kids but it never works.

poor kids, they deserve so much better, they'll be so messed up! I just want to love them but I cant.
I want to stop buying things but i cant, want to change how I am but i cant......

OP posts:
mouses · 21/06/2014 22:36

didn't know my childhood would ruin my whole life,
thought once I grow up and have my own family life would be better.

its not even as bad as some peoples so I dont even deserve the help, just need a slap and be grateful.

cant even blame my mum cos she grew up the same! who am I suppose to hate, maybe social should have left me in foster care I might of had a chance away from my dysfunctional family. maybe my kids need the same to have half the chance of a better life?

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mouses · 21/06/2014 23:45

im a plague to mn, I write on a thread and it kills it.
same as real life, cant get that right either.

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NanaNina · 22/06/2014 00:50

Oh mouses I know the torment of depression and anxiety and have just had the day from hell. Like you I so often think I've had enough of all this shit and I sit in the garden sometimes wondering which tree to hang myself from and then realise I can't make a noose! I'm fortunate though as my family are all grown and have their own families.

Have you ever had any therapy for the troubles you suffered in your childhood, as pills can only treat the symptoms if we're lucky and not the root cause of your depression. Are you a single parent? How old are your children? Sorry not meaning to fire Qs - just trying to get an idea of your life. You say you want to "stop buying things" - does that make you feel better for a while but then maybe get you into debt. Sorry to be second guessing............

You haven't killed this thread.............

Celestria · 22/06/2014 01:27

Mouses. Its common for issues in childhood to affect you in later life. As a child you block things out, ignore things and do what you have to do to grow up. As an adult, you can relax enough for it to all come back.

You are on meds, from what I can gather. What else do you have? Counseling? Support network with friends and family?

Depression is the worst kind of illness anyone can have in my opinion. Everything that we see and perceive comes from our own mind. For our minds to then get sick and to be unable to trust it, see a way forward is more scary than most people realise unless they have ever been through it.

Counselling and pills can only do so much. The rest and the majority has to come from you. What I can tell you, is that its a battle worth fighting. Because it can be fought and it can be won. When you come out the other side of mental health problems, you are much stronger and it changes your whole perspective.

When I was at my worst with my breakdown, everywhere I looked, people said you had to do it yourself. Then i started counselling and they told me I had to help myself. I came so close to giving up so many times. I felt like they didnt understand. Noone would choose to live in such hell so didnt they get that I was already trying to help myself?

Thats the worst part of depression and anxiety. It makes you think things and behave in ways that arent logical. It makes you unable to see a way out, so although you dont want to die, you want the pain to stop and its the only way out you can see.

Thats when you have to realise you are at rock bottom. Things actually cannot get any worse than wishing you are dead. And I believe that its only when you get that close, that you can start to help yourself.

If you are feeling suicidal still, the pills arent working. Ask for a change or a dose increase. Lean on those that love you during this time. Until medication stabilises you, you wont be able to help yourself.

Once stable, then you can start putting things into practise. Learning to question your own thoughts...because thats all they actually are. Thoughts. It helps to assess them, like you would an exam. Are they logical, is there evidence, are you making a huge deal out of something thats actually not all that big when you look at it from a different perspective.

Getting out in the fresh air, taking a walk, feeling the sun on your skin, the way a flower looks, how calm the water is. All these things are good for the soul. There is no getting away from the fact that there is a lot of pain and hurt in the world. So much more so than the good sometimes it seems. Learning to focus on the good, or looking at a bad situation and finding the good in it, helps.

Our brain is complex, but its also habitual. You tell yourself enough times that you are a failure, not worth anything, better off dead, will effectively program your brain to think just that. Its called learned thinking. It gets to a point where you stop thinking it, and your brain tells you it, because thats what you taught it. So you have to teach it again. Teach it to make positive connections. Take every bad thought and imagine it was someone elses bad thought. How would you advise them. What would you consider before deciding they have true grounds to think such thoughts.

Its the hardest thing in the world IMO, to be in the depths of depression and anxiety and have to fight your own way out of it. But that is how it is. The tablets and the talking help, but not nearly so much as the helping yourself. x

mouses · 22/06/2014 09:51

nana I had counselling, Im suppose to be having cbt but I don't think it's having any effect? it just the same as counselling.

I live alone with the dc's, do have a dp but its complicated. dcs are 12, 9 and 4.
yes I cant stop buying things, I tell myself I will but when I get an idea in my head it don't leave me alone until the idea comes about! then I regret it and left in money troubles. I have a problem buying animals :-(

celesstria I was on fluoxetine for 3yrs with no effect and the gp wouldn't change it until id seen a psych who just up it. im not on any thing at the moment, tried quetiapine but had a bad effect on me. so waiting to see gp on tues.

don't have no support, no family. one friend who is much older than me and works so I see her now and again.
some times I think about running away while the kids are at school, don't know where to what I would do, then I imagine my dd face sitting on the school carpet waiting for me to collect her.... then I just break down in tears in guilt!

I tell myself every day things will be different, that I will change but it don't happen.

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