In a panic about seeing DR tommorow...

[Katkins1]

Hi

I'm posting because I don't want to bother any of my friends, and they are all fed up of me. I have been feeling low for a while: depressed, hearing voices, crying all of the time, not sleeping, seeing giant spiders, not knowing where I am or what I am doing, just talk and talk and don't even know what I am saying, can barely get my words out, really, really tired (whole body aching, especially my legs), I get actual cramps and then pains in my legs and sometimes just in my entire body and I have to stop what I am doing until the pain goes. I find it hard to sleep, wake up at 3am and other odd times, always cold and heaving sometimes. It's something that I can barely describe, really. Have been SH'ing and feeling suicidal for a long time. I have been put on Prozac (20mg) but I don't feel much better... just in pain all of the time. And some flashbacks, too. It's made worse because I was meant to sign on, and missed my signing so now I've got hardly anything to live on. I missed the signing because I had no idea what day it was. My friends have convinced me to go to the DR and get signed off sick now, and some proper treatment. But I don't know what to say to them and how to say it. I always pretend to be absolutely fine, but I can barely function most days. I'm so scared of going, I want to cry, just don't know how to explain it all or say any of this.

Sorry that has turned in to a huge essay, but I don't know what to do and what to say to them. I'm going tomorrow morning.

from my telephone claim it took no more than three wks,i still had a little JSA owing and recieved that in the meantime,was all straightforward,was suprised as id heard the horror stories,but was all treated really quick

sounds like you have sufferred alot of trauma in your past im not suprised your feeling as you do

you have taken a big positive step be proud of yourself

I've made my claim today, I think I might get my hardship parent from jobseekers in the meantime. They said just send in the sick note. I woke to some one from uni today, and all of a sudden status' from my peers appeared:"how am I not surprised?"and " there's always some one worse off than you, start living" because I've been so I'll, comments like this appear any time that I mention anything to anyone.I didn't even say much yo my friend,just I've been poorly but can you not fuel the rumour mill please? Say you know nothing? That's all. There's a reason I said it,long story. Part of this, how I'm feeling was caused by bullying at uni.I think so, any way. I managed to do a bit of housework,get to a friend's today but now I need to sort out dinner and I just want to sleep.

((HUGS))

Thank you. It's hard. Can I ask (just in case), what do any of you do in an emergency?

Hi Katkins, really glad to see you've made some progress today. That's very impressive - bloody well done. I know it can't have been easy to talk to the doctor.

What sort of emergency do you mean? If you mean you feel you may seriously harm yourself then I would suggest calling your GP practice, out of hours GP or A&E is the easiest route to get help. I know there are specialist crisis mental health services but I don't know how you access them. Others may have a better idea. The other route where there is always someone to talk to is the Samaritans of course.

Thanks. I don't feel like I will harm myself, but I am scared. I keep seeing those spiders everywhere- on the tops of buildings, crossing the street, crawling down windows, at the tops of escalators. I know they aren't real, but I can still see them everywhere and it's so, so so scary. I was going to phone my GP because I was in a panic, but then I thought I best not. The voice is there today, as well. Was telling me I'm worthless to kill myself, describing what he wanted to do to a woman I was watching give a talk. I asked my friend to do something for me (make a phone call). She was really, really nice and did it , but couldn't speak to the right person. Then got a bit annoyed (or firm) with me because I had a panic attack about phoning them. At home now, just sent some e-mails and getting ready to cook tea and tidy up. It's so hard.

Hi :) Sorry to post back. I wondered if (having done some thinking and reading)... has anyone ever experienced psychotic depression ?

Hi, in an emergency I would usually:
If it is in the day when your gp practice is open phone them and ask for an urgent apt with any nurse or dr ( nurse can always put you in to see a dr if they think you need to)
If out of hours phone the out of hour number (111) and go through them to see a medical practitioner
Use a walk in centre anytime if any near you
Then if none of those are options go to minor injuries unit or A&E ( obviously if life threatening ignore all of the above and go straight to A&E)

Thanks. That's helpful. I don't really know what an emergency is..
The spiders thing though; just gets to a point where I can't take it. I've started to stare at where they appear, today I was staring at the roof of a building where there was a giant one, and there were legs appearing over the window of the room we were sitting in (it was high up).then they appeared on every roof, but I know they aren't real. They were at the top of the escalators later, too.I actually walked under one. The voice was talking to me,too. I'm getting to the point where I can't stand it. I thought it had stopped, then when I got home there were spiders on the wall. I kept staring at the wall, following where they were going. But all the time knowing they weren't real.sorry for going on.