PND or bad parent?

[Stateofmentalhealth]

What's the difference between having PND and actually just not enjoying being a parent?

I have DD, 5 months who is a "good" baby. She is contented and beautiful, smart and giggly. She feeds well EBF. Sleep is hit and miss, some great nights, some terrible nights.

And yet I find myself feeling miserable. Which in turn makes me feel dreadfully guilty...don't I know how bloody lucky I am? We lost three pregnancies before dd. Everything seems so hard and I feel fatigued and so fed up. I worry about things that are ridiculous and shouldn't worry me. I feel like I'm wishing DD would just grow up quickly so was less reliant on me. Please don't flame me....I already feel terrible about thinking such an awful thing and I know I'll look back and realise how special this time is.

I feel like my whole life is just treading water, scared of taking the next step. My head just spins and spins all day.

HV wanted me to see GP. Could it be pnd or am I just adjusting to being a mum?

(I try all day every day to be bright and cheery with DD so please don't think that im a crap mum.)

I feel exactly this. Although I do have a high needs/demanding baby.

I wasn't sure if it was PND or just adjustment of life & also being older (37) had huge career & also a lone parent.

I had only ever wanted a child & I now feel horrendous guilt I have what I want & am quite frankly fucking miserable!!

I did go to GP after waking up one day thinking I can't do this, I have no bond with DS, I don't even like him, he screams blue murder all day, what the hell am I going to do.

It took 2 goes at going to the GP & finally filling in "the form" that said yes I do have PND & intense anxiety.

I am now on meds (sertraline) early days & I'm hoping this will help improve my mood & I can then in time enjoy my son.

There is no harm in talking to your GP, you may in fact find you are ok.

My son is 6 Months by the way & the GP was concerned at 6 Months in it's no longer just "baby blues".

Good Luck .... keep me updated :) always happy to listen x

Hi

Thanks so much for replying.

HV been to see me today. She thinks I definitely have pnd. When I say how I feel and what I think out loud I realise that something isn't right but a massive part of me just wishes I hadn't said anything. She'll think I'm a shit parent and maybe I'm just being a whiney moany ninny. Of course being a parent is hard, why can't I just get on with it?

She won't think you're a shit parent.

Quite the opposite.

I don't have pnd and have an 'easy' baby by all accounts but it's bloody hard work, relentless.

Please see your gp. They'll have seen it a million times before.

For you x

People who are shit parents don't spend time worrying about what kind of parents they are. You are a parent with a problem and you are taking steps to sort it out - that makes you a good parent, not a bad one.