Not doing well today

[Celestria]

I am struggling today and wondered if someone would hold my hand.

My family and I fell out a month or so ago. It's not reconcilable and it was my choice. I feel so alone. So much has happened in the last year and something has changed in me.

I think about death a lot. I know one day I won't be here and it frightens me. I have a DP and I am constantly scared he will leave me. I feel useless and that I don't give anyone anything. That I am just passing the days until I die.

I'm sad for the family I have lost. I loved all of them and I feel like I'm all alone in the world now. That noone really cares whether I am here or not.

I'm not suicidal and I am on meds after a breakdown in the new year. I'm just so sad and lonely. I have one good friend but over the last week I haven't seen her. Spent more and more time on my computer where I can distract myself and don't have to think.

I'm really scared I might be getting unwell again. But surely anyone would feel the same after effectively losing their family.

Please can someone hold my hand a little. I don't often ask for help but I think I need some today.

Hand holding here. I'm sorry you're feeling upset about falling out with your family. You must have had good reasons to feel convinced that it can't be fixed. You may feel differently in time.
You sound depressed. I hope you're getting some support from your GP or mental health team. If you feel you're not well can you ask for an appointment to be seen?
I hope your partner is understanding. If you feel it would help to speak to your friend I hope you feel you can contact her, rather than waiting for her to get in touch.

Hand holding as well op. Sending you hugs. Can you go to your gp and get some advice.

Another hand xxx

It takes great strength to ask for help. Hand to hold here.

Would it help to talk to someone neutral like Samaritans?

Sorry too. Do you have a caring GP who has known you a long while? I am sorry though celestria.