Reached my breaking point, hospital, OD

[CuppaBiccieBliss]

I am such an idiot. I spent last nite in hospital because I od' but I couldn't even get that right.
I can not go on like this anymore, I can't. My whole life has crumbled around me because of what they did to me. I am lying here furious with myself for failing again. The crisis team aren't interested, my cpn doesn't even know the real reason I have ptsd.
I am so alone

Thankyou
Dp has phoned my cpn but she's not available until the end of the week. I am trying so hard to keep myself safe. It just all seems a bit much right now.

Cuppa You are entitled to help, next week is too far away it is only Tuesday today, you shouldn't have to feel the way you do until then. Please go to A&E tell them the way you feel and make sure to tell them that you aren't coping and getting enough support, they are there to help you. Please stop suffering alone!

Whoops sorry using app on my phone I thought you said next week, the end of the week is still a bit of a way away.

I know you are right but I'm just so scared. Pathetic aren't I?! It's almost like I've been let down so many times that I've put my guard up and shut everyone out.

Cuppa sorry for the late reply I had to collect my son from school, you are not pathetic don't say that. How far is your nearest hospital? What are you afraid of?

No need to apologise at all x
It's about 20 mins drive away but I would have to get a taxi.
I'm terrified of talking out loud about it really. That and the majority of staff are male. It's such a long story to explain, everything that has happened.

Cuppa please don't be scared, please go there you'll feel so much better. You will soon get the help you deserve, please go I have faith and hope in you

I'm going to wait until the dds are in bed and then have a chat with Dp. Everything seems so empty and black, I have ran out of energy to fight.

Is DP supporting you?

Yes he's very supportive, I'm not really sure how he puts up with me tbh.

Another way to access support can be to phone your gp.visit, or tonight it will not be your out of hours service. Any gp there can refer you immediately to the crisis team service for assessment and support (well in the counties around where I live they do) - which can save waiting hours at A and E. Here you phone for an appointment via 111, go and see them (insist on this) and then they get crisis team to visit you, or sometimes send you to where crisis team are based. Here crisis team can offer 24 hour support - usually one visit or call a day, whilst under them, but they can also refer to day hospital and are gatekeepers for the few mental health beds inpatient.

Thankyou silverstars, I am trying to hold on until tomorrow and hopefully get in contact with the gp. I have already been told that I'm not ill enough to be an inpatient but clearly not well enough to be at home at the moment so I'm stuck in limbo.

That is where care in the community comes in - getting you support to be at home. Whether that is reviewing your medication to help you come, visiting you in crisis, finding out support groups in your area, or applying for a support worker for you (the latter harder to do and generally done via Adult Social Care, but it helpful as they can help take you out and support you in those early steps).

I am hoping that at the very least my cpn can come out more often, at the moment it's approx every 3 weeks or is that normal? God I feel so out of my depth.

Hi cpn provision and support varies depending on what your care plan says and I guess the workload in your area.

Is your cpn useful? Do you have a care plan? Can you ask for that to be reviewed and a more suitable package of care put in place.

Is your agrophobia linked to your mental health, or is a separate condition (sorry I do not know very much about agrophobia) - if it is a different area, could you get your Gp to refer you to a specialist in that issue?? May be another way to access more support.

Sorry - ignore my last post, I posted it on the wrong thread!!

Hi, CPN support does vary, depending on what other support a person is receiving and what a cpn actually does with you. Often a cpn is not a trained therapist, usually a nurse who monitors medication and oversees the admin and risk assessment and do your regular care plans (paperwork mainly). Does vary upon their expertise. Some areas the cpn could help get you into a therapy group, a support group etc, depending on diagnosis. However, often people need to be classed as stable to attend them (eg not harming/OD'ing). Why not ask your cpn for a review - what support could you get.

If a cpn thinks you need more support than they can give you, often they can refer you to a day hospital if one in your area (go to a building usually for 6 hours or so to do low level activities), or to a crisis team to monitor you more.

You can phone up the team your cpn is based, ask to speak to your cpn or a duty worker if the cpn not available and tell them you are in crisis and need more help. They can then refer you to crisis themselves at that time - again in some areas.

How are you today Cuppa? Please let me know when you can.

I'm not doing too good. I seem to have fallen into a black hole and have no idea how to get out.
I'm just about managing the usual housework and obviously looking after dds but everything seems like an uphill struggle.