Floxetine and me

[Daemara]

Two weeks ago with the support and advice of my best friend i went to see my gp about my feelings of depression, non-stop crying episodes, and shouting at my DS (2). I burst into tears upon walking into my GP's office and sobbed as i talked. In the end she gave me a prescription for fluoxetine and said my HV would be in contact with me soon. Not heard from HV but the AD's seem to be working and am much calmer and not being such a horrible mum to DS and the crying a stopped for now. But I am still waiting to talk to my HV to see if i need counseling or not as i'm worried that though the drugs are working they don't do anything for the underlying causes of feeling the way i did. I don't want to go back to feeling like that but am feeling guilty for resorting to ADs.

A part of me can look back and see that i had a bad pregnancy, Hyperemisis that led to a hospitilization for a week and just being constantly weak and sick. No one ever said anything about depression the GP and MW just kept saying the baby was fine while i was still being sick while taking anti-sickness pills. And to top it off had low blood pressure that ment i had to keep sitting or lying down or i would pass out which was somewhat embarrasing at anti-natal class. My son was born fine healthy 8lb12 the birth wasn't great, but at least i didn't have to be sick anymore!

Ok i think i'm rambling on here i just wanted to vent a bit and maybe have someone listen. I got some help and i was very afraid to but i did it and feel relieved that i'm no longer pretending that nothing is wrong. I'm not quite the monster and bad mum i thought i was turning into. a part of me feels silly to be carrying these issuses, and i'm sure there are more, and let things get so vastly out of control. I guess i still need to talk to someone, that whole tip of the iceberg thing. thank you to anyone who took the time to read my some what chaotic rambings.

Hi Daemara, well done for going to your GP it takes a lot of courage to do that! You don't sound in the least bit a monster, it sounds like you had a really hard pregnancy and birth, you then had a new born and another child to care for, you are doing a fab job!! I am really disappointed that the hv has not contacted you, maybe the gp hasn't passed on the message, but I think it is important to talk things through it always seems easier and clearer then. Do you have a follow up appointment with the GP if they started ad should really follow up to see how you're feeling, maybe then you could mention hv or get referral. Glad you are feeling better!!

katyjo, thank you. one child age two sorry for the confusion. I don't have a follow up appointment just been told to make one when i only have a few pills left. I know its not bad to be on AD's but i feel a bit of a failure for not being able to snap out of it on my own and fix things. Labor was 15 hours was on a induction drip as waters broke and there was meconium so they were worried about my son, but the drip didn't do anything but make me have contration after contraction without a break and without dilateing beyond 2cm. then there was an emergency on the ward so they kept telling me i'd have to wait for an epidural, (which i really didn't want but was too tired to keep going as i was) and wouldent check to see if i was dilated hours later before administering said epidural. 5 minutes after the epidural i was ready to push and DS came into the world quite healthy. not the worst story out there but not what i would have choosen. Oh and then i had the flu while still is hospital on the maternity ward.

Anyway thank you for responding. there is a light in the dark now and i was foolish to not seek help right away when i first started to feel so dark. Its easier to push things aside then to face them but they don't go away they just keep piling up.

I too take Fluxoetine but take mine for the PMT I suffer not for depression although I guess PMT is a form of depression.

I also have a phobia and tbh it has helped that more than it has the PMT, I still experience PMT although not quite so severe now. I still feel a bit snappy when I am due to come on but not quite as demonic!!!

crazydazy, thank you. I blamed what i was feeling on pmt until i got to the point where the crying and feelings of dispair never went away. Before I had my son pmt wasn't much of an issue a few tears but used to get bad cramps durring my periods. But after my son the cramps were fine but pmt was a bad rollercoaster ride, that kept getting worse and lasted longer until my period was done. But the last time it didnt stop at all and i finally went to see my gp. i just never really linked the two.

I know what you mean Daemara, its horrible feeling so down especially when you have little children to cope with too.

Hope you are feeling better soon x

thank you. I do feel better with the ad's working i feel more on the level now like i can function like a human being most of the time.

Daemara, stop apologising for feeling the way you do!! Your labour sounds awful to me, you shouldn't compare your experience to others, you had a bad time and it will take some time and a bit of support to get over that. It sounds like you have hit the bottom and your on your way back up, hopefully things will just keep getting better and better for you now.

well done for going to see ur gp.could ur gp not have refered u for councelling?it sounds like a pretty traumatic birth experience u had and to keep it all to urself for so long,no wonder u feel down.it would prob help to talk about it.theres nothing wrong with taking ad's to give u that push to start getting better.

have a look at the thread'haunted by chilbirth..not for the pregnant' in this topic

Thank you for taking the time to read and reply to me. I guess i just needed to share a bit and it has helped me feel a bit more positive in myself. I will check out the thread Divastrop. And my gp said that i have to talk to hv to see if i need counselling. Which i'm sure i will, i mean the ad's are great i feel like i can function and be a better mother than I was but they wont fix the underlying problems. Anyway I feel like i can breathe again and thats the main thing that things are more positive now.