Torn apart & want to walk out

[Pulledapart]

First time posting although been a lurker for months now.

I have both mental/physical health problems. I really a lot on my family and husband for support to look after my Dd who is 3.

Recently we all made the decision to move in together into a bigger house that can accommodate all of us (3 levels to the house so plenty of space).

Anyhow an argument broke out between my DH & DB's whilst moving an object in and now no one is speaking with one another. I witnessed the later end of the argument & I am on my husbands side as my DB's did go over the top.

DH has given me an ultimatum it's him or the family. He wants to separate us from them to find a place of our own and well he doesn't want anything to do with my family after that. He says I'm free to see them & speak to them when I want but i shouldn't expect him to. He is staying with friends at the moment whilst he finds a place for us all. To be honest I can see why he is upset but I do think he is over reacting about not wanting anything to do with my family.

I don't know what to do at all I'm absolutely torn apart. I love my husband and want to be with him but I love my family too :( my voices have been really bad and the urge to self harm is getting worse! I'm making plans to walk out tomorrow morning and not turn back at least with me out the way there won't be a problem. The only thing I'm thinking about is Dd :(

I mean DH even said he considered divorcing me over this... He also doesn't think I backed him up at the time (he knows in situations when people shout & scream I just shut down).

Sorry for the long post I don't even know what I'm asking I just am confused and don't know what to do. Do I do as planned and walk out tomorrow but where do I go what do I do? Maybe jump off a bridge or go in front of a car or take loads of pill. Just what is my way out of this.

Sounds a difficult situation. Moving is a very stressful event. As is living with people who you do not marry or are your family. Would you get the support you need if you do not live together? Will some time help calm things down?

silver I had hoped some time apart would calm the situation but it's been 5 days & no change. In terms of support I don't think I will get the same support but I'm sure DH would step up to the mark.

I'm ready to leave :(

So far the plan is to go to the nearest shop and buy some packs of cigarettes and then go to an open space and smoke em all.

Haven't decided whether to commit suicide or take lots of pills....

Hello. I think you should call the Samaritans to be honest stop you sound very very distressed. Are you near to a hospital?

Sorry, that didn't make sense. Where are you now? Do you know how to get the hospital from there? Please, please don't do anything that your child will regret later.

I'm just walking around I've bought the cigarettes... I'm not near a hospital.

Do you have a Community Psychiatric Nurse you can contact, OP? I am really worried about you.

I've ended up in hospital - ironically - not for me but my dad has had a turn for the worst :(

No one knows what u had planned all day or where I've been I just lied I had been with friends.

Ive just spent the whole day sitting n thinking n smoking. Thought it might help to make me work out what I should do but I've got nowhere with my thought process.

Not quite sure how I will get through tonight :( I feel so alone!

You need to speak to someone at the hospital and ask them for help. Was he in A&E?

Yeah he was rushed to a&e now on the ward - they gonna keep him him overnight.

I'm not sure I'll be able to speak to anyone.

If ur in a&e you just have to ask to speak to the on call psych.

At home now

Dad is in a bad way. I'm going to have to hold off on walking away. I gotta be back at the hospital tomorrow to speak with the consultant about dad.

Just taken some sleeping tablets hopefully I'll be asleep soon.

Sorry I've not even thanked you all for responding to my post - head is all over the place :(

Feeling dead on the inside but functioning for the world.

So far I've managed to get out of bed have a shower and get dressed. Sorted out the little one breakfast before leaving to go hospital. Spoke to dads consultant and
Now sitting in g.p surgery sorting his meds out.

After this I have to get some shopping for my mum n then drop DD to school. Then I'll head back to hospital to be with dad and speak to his second consultant this afternoon.

I feel numb.. But I can't run away either with all this going on. I can't be selfish... If I walk away who will deal with all this... DH doesn't understand any of this... I simply can't walk away my parents need me!

Am I thinking wrong??? Am i not thinking of DH when I should be??? Am I being a rubbish wife???

If I do as DH ask then I'm a rubbish daughter. If I don't then I'm a rubbish wife. I can't win either way! I wish I could split myself In half that would solve it.

Dad still in hospital :( but things have at least calmed down between DH & DB's.

DH has been to the hospital with me for past few days as well to see dad and has even come round to the new house. I'm proud of his behaviour in all this right now but it's a shame I can't say the same about my family. If I had the energy I would say something but I'm tired & exhausted both physically & mentally & it doesn't help that it's that time of the month (dreaded period pains).

The feeling of wanting to run away from it all has also gone although my mood is all over the place (must be the hormones)

Would love to just stay in bed all day but lots to do. Dd is running around the house screaming for me to get up :( I need a very strong with lots of 's to wake up!
Feeling depressed/low has taken all the energy out of me.