Depression passed from parent to child?

[IrianofWay]

I have been suffering from depression on and off since DD was born 15 years ago. In the last 7 years I have been constantly on citalopram apart from a few months here and there. Looking back I think I had some degree of depression and/or anxiety from my mid teens. It has flared up again from time to time but not got unbearAable until PND with DD.

I don't often see my brother who is 6 years older than me very often but we all got together last weekend. He and I took the dogs for a long walk and had a good chat. Turns out he has been on setraline for 8 years too. I never knew that but i must admit I often thought I saw some of the signs I saw in myself. He didnt know I was either.

So both children have had this horrible albatross round our necks for years. So bloody sad.

I am fairly sure my mum was depressed most of my childhood. She was a very anxious woman, few friends, always worried about what people thought of her, worried about money, worried about us, worried about everything. I remember a lot of my childhood as being a fog of anxiety - wondering how she would be today, how she would react to things. We both in different ways learned to 'keep mum happy', to jolly her along, to try to distract from things we thought would upset her. As an adult I don't confide in her at all - just don't feel I can trust her to remain strong. As far as I know she never sought help - that would not have occurred to her - illness was something like flu or heart disease! That isn't to say she wasn't also a loving warm parent much of the time. But I grew up very anxious, shy and with a hair trigger to any sort of stress.

Hearing about my DB really made me wonder if being with a depressed anvious parent

I believe that depression and anxiety have a strong genetic component. It is unfair to suggest that your depression or your brother's depression was caused by anything your mother did, unless she was abusive. If she was a loving warm parent a lot of time (even if occassionaly imperfect), it may be that you and your brother have inherited her depression genes.

Studies of twins seperated at birth show that there is a pre disposition towards depression which is inherited. Environment and the child's life circumstances has an affect whether the depression gene is activated.

OK. That is interesting. I wasn't aware there was a genetic component. She wasn't abusive of course. She was doing the best she could, as do we all. I just pray that I end up with a more balanced relationship with my children than she has with us

I agree with ReallyTired, you can be genetically predisposed towards developing depression. There is also the factor of seeing your parent's way of coping with life which is not necessarily a good example if she has untreated depression.

Like you I believe I had depression starting in my teens but is was only diagnosed when I was 30. In hindsight I then realised that my mom has also been depressed for much of my life, especially after my db was born. Several years into my treatment she told me that she had also now realised this. I think it's so sad that she never got help.

My birth mother (I'm an adoptee) had, I believe, depression. My parents have no history of depression or anxiety. For me, it started when I was around 12 to 13, but was noticed when I was 14 and started refusing school as a result, been on medication since a bit after. I do think there's a genetic component tbh.

ive just joined a research study ,looking into genetics and mental health .