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Miserable 3rd trimester

4 replies

SuperLuLu · 02/06/2014 00:54

Not sure if i'm looking to vent, get sympathy or help!

Im now 33 wks and since start of 2nd trimester i have not been my usual happy self. I dont hav any issues with the pregnancy, tho very achey and am quite happy to be pregnant.

I started to feel very unhappy when i became ill with an upper respiratory infection from around 14 wks pregnant which lasted 9 weeks. The doctors would do nothing for me except sign me off work for a week. During this time i had to fully look after my daughter when not in childcare ,now 19 months and had little support from my husband. I felt truely exhausted and dont think i ever got over this. I also feel bitter towards my husband for not helping more.

I now find myself getting increasingly angry, tho i am patient with my daughter i am not with my husband. I take everything out on him. For instance last week whilst on holiday i became fractious whilst at a pub. My daughter would not nap in her buggy and was becoming grouchy and hard work, we allowed her to run round hoping it would make her more sleepy. Whilst my husband blissfully drank his pint i had to stand guard and run after her to stop her running into an open car park. I ended up putting her in her buggy and walking off and resenting my husband for be able to sit there and do nothing. My husband got angry with me and i ended up crying. Today is another example where i spent all day doing housework, cooking dinner, prepping lunches for work and childminder and missing out playing with my daughter in the garden. My husband did do the hoovering and put some items in the loft....but i did not finish untilwell after 8.30 pm and had been going at it since this morning and as a result am practically crippled in hip pain. I felt myself getting more worked up as he sat on the sofa and watched tv. This caused another tiff. I feel i have no time to myself amongst working , housework, looking after my daughter and being pregnant. On top of this i have a very demanding family....my mother is an alcoholic who causes grief every now and again...she is also ill with COPD. my sisters can be a little needy at times. I find myself either exhausted, angry or tearful. I cant be bothered to have normal conversations or have any loving time with my husband and dont really want to see friends.
My husband does help and is very patient and i love him dearly. We have communicated about this. I dont know whether its me getting hormonal or whether there is something more serious like prenatal depression. I also worry i will be more emotional after the baby arrives. I was not like this at all with my daughters pregnancy or after. Anyone else been through this and offer advice? Thanks

OP posts:
RonaldMcDonald · 02/06/2014 01:05

I think that it sounds like your h needs to step up. You are 33 weeks preg. He needs to fill in the gaps
You need some rest and sleep...everything is so much worse when you are knackered. Sleep and rest is vital.

Your hormones are probably all over the place but it is hard to assess your mood when you are so tired.
If you speak to your h and ask for help he'll find it hard to say no ( you say he's a good guy ) each time you need him, ask him, don't expect him to know or guess. Sounds obvious but......
Then when you have some sleep see how you feel. If your mood is still low speak to your doc. Perhaps ask for a referral to Perinatal Mental Health...they will have lots of experience and ways to help you.

Hope you're feeling better soon.

SilverStars · 02/06/2014 18:18

Why not share what you wrote here with your midwife - may be able to identify how much is linked to 3rd trimester, working, demanding family and how much is something else. They are trained to assess and then can signpost immediately if mental health issue.

SuperLuLu · 03/06/2014 20:45

Thanks for the responses. I am seeing Midwife this wk so will mention my feelings. I have spoken to H about this and he has admitted he can be lazy....i guess uour right, guys dont read hints very well and just need to be told. Feel guilty he will think im a nag...but i guess this is better than me being grouchy and hormonal. Thanks again

OP posts:
RonaldMcDonald · 04/06/2014 00:20

Take care of yourself, I really hope it all goes well

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